Many toxic thoughts/statements begin with Should. In this way we tend to should all over our relationship partners. Shoulding all over our partners, even in the privacy of our own minds, can come out in our tone or actions. This can leave your intimate partner feeling like a different word that beings with Sh. If you guessed that this Sh word is SHAME, then you are correct. The good news is that if your Shoulds are replaced with Would Like the resulting toxic thoughts can be avoided. Try it: Instead of, You should know how I feel., try thinking and saying, I would like you to please hear me out on this. Instead of, You shouldnt bring that up., try thinking and saying, I would like to consider what you are saying, please let me sit with it for a little while before I respond. It amazes me how toxic thoughts in couples occur so incessantly and so often out of true awareness. Taking the time to be mindful, catch your toxic thoughts, and dispute/change them will take you and your partner to a much better place in your relationship. ...trust me, it is a delicious life ;)
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:59:16 +0000
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