March 4, (17 of 30 days) A friend and I were watching the Academy Awards and he mentioned to me that no one could acknowledge outwardly that they felt that they did a good job, that they deserved, somehow the recognition...deserved the award...this would seem to be quite the faux pas. It is interesting this, when I am sure that most everyone who reaches these levels has confidence in the work they do. Today, this 17th day of shooting out of 30, squeezed into my day after a long day of construction work I say that yes, I did a good job with these pics. I translated well what I saw and felt. This is growth for me to state this in a matter of fact way, instead of playing the game of either the grandiose or the diminishing of the work, which I find has components of the small child. This work, these 30 days is an experiment and a process. One aspect of myself is the ability to stay with things. I do not always tap into this part of myself. Often I will stop due to thoughts and emotions, feelings of fear, thoughts of worth less than and or despair, these feelings to be traced back to the child part where needs were not met, people not there... I write such words because I think that this is quite common in people...ways in which we have dreams, but can short circuit them...reach out towards a goal but with arms crooked. Of course this does not make logical sense, why would any of us choose the less loving path for ourselves, the path less fulfilled most of us do just that. I certainly can attest to a life of this in some ways...and yet photography for me..now 25 years down the road of working at it has granted me something that is beyond my critical mind. It has become a place of trust for me. I know that when I go out that some beauty, some depth, the pristine, enlightened moment will come out of it. I dont at this point, have to think about it, or force it, or even question. It is just is. And I think each of us has some place in our lives just like this...something that we are about, that we are good at, something that we have spent the 10 thousand hours at, not because we have had to, but just because...it is part of who we are, part of our make up. Perhaps all of us have our Academy Award Speech, were we will thank the people who have loved us, who have helped us and offered us their support...I would wish that all of us, the whole lot of us...could acknowledge without hesitation...yes we have done a good job...we are good at this and it this that we have wished so very much to share with the world, this love of this particular thing...spread out into the world to remind others of their particular flavor, their love out as love to touch others.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 07:15:41 +0000
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