Married Raising Children Having children is an anxious moment for “first time” parents. The uncertainty of the future and how you are going to raise this newborn child reaches the forefront of your daily concerns. Add one or two more children to the first one and the concerns increase. What has having children done your marriage? What has your marriage done to your children? Do you act civil in front of your children, but rarely act loving, caring, and honestly with your spouse? Some couples have created a gap in their relationship and as a result have become “single parents” in raising their children. They stay together for the children, but the parents cannot “get together” on the best way to raise their children. One 9 year old boy had to make multiple visits to a therapist due to the anguish he experienced at home from the constant fighting of parents. A teenage girl left home and went to live with her grandparents because she did not want to live with either of her parents who were recently divorced. An 18 year old young man graduated from high school and started living with his girlfriend because he watched his dad when he was 15 years old leave his mother to live with his “girlfriend”. Although Ezekiel 18:20 says “the soul that sinneth it shall die: the son shall not bear the iniquity of the father”, how many sins of your child will be the result of the sins in your marriage. The patterns set forth in your marriage have a great chance of being repeated in the relationships of your children. With all the attention you are giving your children, where is the attention you should be giving your spouse? Parenting is a “team effort” and so is marriage. Your family cannot be united if your marriage is not ONE. Discord in marriage creates a chaos where children will be in charge. A divided marriage not only brings discord to the house, but many times the husband and wife will seek the favor of their children instead of their spouse. Parents begin to validate their feelings through their children rather than their spouse. What a shame. The truth is, if a marriage suffers, children will suffer. What will you do to stop the cycle? One couple, who had two children less than 8 years of age, attended a weekend marriage conference. At the conference they resolved to go home and ask their two children to forgive them for their foolish choices and for nearly abandoning them. After that, they worked on their marriage so they could be good parents. They had an interesting revelation. One day, their children will be gone, then what. They would be left with each other. They knew the most important relationship in their family is their marriage to their spouse. Will your children say you believed in marriage?
Posted on: Sun, 08 Sep 2013 02:26:50 +0000