Married White Male, protestant, non-smoker, in search of a TV news - TopicsExpress

Married White Male, protestant, non-smoker, in search of a TV news channel that actually tells me the news. Prefer non-agenda based information delivered by a gentleman, in a suit, behind a counter, preferably with a smoldering cigarette in an ashtray next to a steaming mug of coffee. Gray hair preferred but optional. Pretty-boys or eye candy need not apply. Paper shuffling encouraged, but no i-pad or blackberry permitted on-screen. No, I am NOT entitled to your opinion about current events. Talking over your guest during an interview or using the term hashtag are grounds for immediate termination. NON-NEGOTIABLE: President Obama did not cause all our problems, and President Obama is not a solution to any of our problems. Any sign of personality a negative. Ideal candidate would be Joe Friday from Dragnet or possibly Putty from Seinfeld. If interested, please contact me watching Turner Classic Movies or TVLand.

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