May sound funny, but unfortunately, it’s not too far from the truth: What I want in a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesnt drive off until Im in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when Im talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesnt belch or scratch in public 3. Doesnt borrow money too often 4. Doesnt nod off to sleep when Im venting 5. Doesnt re-tell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 1. Doesnt scare small children 2. Remembers where the bathroom is 3. Doesnt require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep, doesnt fart in public 5. Remembers why hes laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that its the weekend What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72) 1. Breathing 2. Does not miss the toilet bowl KEEP READING, THERES MORE BELOW ... AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT IM SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOURE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS. MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV...
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 06:14:57 +0000
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