May this bless you with an open and healed heart and soul. Tonight I found healing in my tears. One of the greatest truths Ive learned is that when pain is triggered, Im talking about deep emotional pain, follow it all the way. Find the.root of that pain. AT THE ROOT OF EVERY EMOTIONAL WOUND IS A LIE THAT WE ARE BELEIVING ABOUT OUR SELF, AND TRUTH WILL SET US FREE. Tonight a wound was triggered in my life, and I want to GIVE a gift to you from my open heart. 2 of the greatest books Ive read came into play tonight as I healed a deep wound. 4 agreements, and untethered soul. When we look to others to define us, or validate us, when we allow who we are, our value, and how we see ourselves to be determined by another, we must find these roots and free ourselves. I spent many years of my life being told that who I am wasnt good enough. A decade plus of relying on someone elses approval to make me valid as a man, and as a person. Beleiving that the fulfillment of their expectations, the fulfillment of the role they and society assigned to me, was my goal, and the lie that being anything other than me, was the person I was supposed to become. The boy in me that wanted to just laugh and play was wounded at an early age. And i attracted people into my life that continued to deepen that wound. I became strong and somewhat cold; I buried my tears, and avoided my laughter, I would think before I WAS, think before Id just BE; and like the frog in the kettle, degree by degree, I went from being me, and loving me, and living free and from my heart, to a man proving his worth, hiding the present moment of my true self, succumbing to the fear and beleif that me, as me, just me, wasnt good enough. Insecurity filled my life. Depression, seriousness, and living life calculated and from the mind, became my days. I went from being the eagle, the bird, free to soar, to becoming the remote controlled airplane, bound by the control of approval, and the illusion or lie that being good meant being something other than just being, and instead of living free, I submitted my heart to the control of approval and validation of certain others. Tonight, a moment happened, and I felt that anger and disapproval from my past, and I followed the pain and emotions I felt. I wept. I disnt know why at 1st. Kelli held me, she cried with me, as I dealt with the wounds of my past. And like the untethered soul says, I sunk back into the.pain, I followed it and let the emotions speak to me, why am I in pain? What do I have to beleive to feel this way? And here I am, a leader, a voice of freedom, successful business man, a man who found true love, and yet I was weeping in pain. Because in that moment, my deep deep wounds were triggered by the thorn (untethered soul). And behind those woumds was a boy, and a man, who was told your not good enough. Your free spirit and grandiose dreams of life are dangerous and unrealistic. And at the core of those wounds, were beleifs, agreements as ruiz calls them in 4 agreements. Beleifs and agreements with words and energy spoken over me from unhappy angry ppl, and my subconscious grabbed those words as truths. And at my core, my life and my calling, my happiness and my bliss, my extraordinary and exhilarating life of JUST BEING ME, was still being quenched by these lies, these wounds, these agreements that I let in. And in those moments of letting happiness and bliss soar, my walls would show up, only tasting the state of life, that I longed to live in, in every breath. We all long for this. For happiness and freedom of the soul to laugh, to cry, to celebrate, to feel. And as I would begin to feel what life was created to be, I would stop its flow. Tasting a drip of its bliss, and shutting down the river of life from pure flow. And as I sank into it, didnt shut it down, as kelli held me and let me weep and go where I needed to go, I became still, silent, and I went within myself. WHAT DO I HAVE TO BELEIVE TO FEEL THIS PAIN? WHAT DO I BELEIVE THAT KEEPS ME FROM THE FULL NEWS OF HAPPINESS? And like the 4 agreements teaches, I identified the false agreements that haunted me from my subconscious beleifs. I wasnt good enough! I dont deserve my dreams. And those are lies!! And rewrote my agreements in my heart and mind tonight. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! AND SO ARE U!! MISTAKES ARE THE TREASURES OF THE COURAGEOUS, NOT THE CURSE OF THE BROKEN!! IM NOT BROKE AND IN NEED OF BEING FIXED! I AM BEAUTIFUL! AND SO R U! AND MY DREAMS ARE MY DESTINY! AND SO ARE YOURS! AND I AM PERFECTLY MADE BY GOD, AND SO ARE U! AM AM FEAR FULLY AND WONDERFULLY DESIGNED, AND ALL OF ME, IS A MASTERPEICE OF GOD! ALL OF YOU, ALL OF WHO WE ARE, ALL OF OUR JOURNEY, IS A GREAT WORK OF ART, AND TOGETHER WE ARE ALL A BEAUTIFUL GALLERY OF HIS WORKMANSHIP! I began to renew my mind to trith, that I am created in the image and likeness of god!! AND I AM LOVED, AND WORTHY OF LOVE, AND I AM LOVE, AND.CAPABLE OF LOVING!! And through my triggered wound tonight, I touched my soul, I released my heart to live and.be free!! MY DESTINATIONS DO NOT DEFINE ME!!!! I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO TO ONE DAY QUALIFY TO BE HAPPY! I HAVE NOTHING TO DO OR PERFORM, NO EXPECTATION OR ROLE OR OUTCOME TO PRODUCE TO BE ALIVE, AND TO LOVE ME FOR ME!! I FOUND MY PRESENT MOMENT AGAIN, AND THAT IS.TO EMBRACE THAT WHO I AM, RIGHT NOW, IS GOOD, AND BEAUTIFUL, AND WORTHY OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS! AND EVEN THOUGH I AM STILL BECOMING, AND GROWING, AND MANIFESTING, AND LEARNING, AND CREATING, MORE AND MORE, TODAY IS AS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AS TOMORROW! AND I AM AS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL TODAY, AS I EVER WILL BE, AND SO ARE YOU!! And the story of creation in the bible, at the end of each day, God looked on it and said IT IS GOOD!!! HR WASNT DONE YET! THE FINISHED PRODUCT WASNT COMPLETE! BUT THE JOURNEY, THE PRESENT MOMENT, WAS AS GOOD AS THE END RESULT. SO FRIENDS, LETS LIVE! LETS LOVE! LET UR HEART BE THE BOY AND.GIRL THAT WAS ONCE FREE, BECOME LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN, LIVING IN THE BLISS OF LIFE ITSELF. THANK U Kelli Schaefer Meyers FOR SEEING ME! AND.FOR EMBRACING LIFES JOURNEY, NOT JUST ITS DESTINATIONS. NAMASTE!
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 02:49:47 +0000
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