Me in the Americas Parte Dos : The eternal prevalence of poo and a scorpion hair do. So second installment is ready and has been chilling on ice for the past 3 weeks en la selva (in the jungle...that was Spanish see). Spoiler alert there will be a strong thematic undercurrent of poop running through this of which most of you will be none too suprised if you know me at all... but were all friends here and I really couldnt give a figs ass as Im currently in a sleep deprived delirium due to said topic...so without further ado...the poo. Im back in the city of Merida capital of the state of Yucatan, post my jungle jaunt. I celebrated my return to the bright lights big city by choosing a gaudy and invitingly cheap eaterie to have me dinner last night. After smugly greeting and ordering my entire meal in Spanish to the somewhat confused waitress...aside 1:she didnt seem to speak my particular dialect of Spanish I concluded...I awaited my feast. Upon arrival it appeared to be a delicious morsel of enchiladas topped with avocado, refried beans, cheese, pickles and grandpas share of the Xmas shreaded turkey. Gah. I hadnt quite communicated no meat, as in Id clean forgotten to say it and in my english not wanting to make a fuss fashion ummed and ahhed and cast around askance at someone to fix my drama...but ending with me giving up and wolfing the lot down. Oh but isnt karmic resolution so swift these days, as I have just spent the entire night in my shitty £4 a night boil your balls hot hostel room wreathing around in agony on the floor...aside 2: the hamack was so uncomfortable I ended up on the marble floor with my blanket, oh hey there hemorrhoidal bedfellows...witnessing an unholy karma koming out of all my soul holey orifices. So there you have it...Turkey 1 - Jo´s bowels and chance of ending Samsara 0. Aside 3: it did not escape my irony based attention that I had a few days previous decided to send you all as a christmas present a rather funny poem by Benjamin Zephaniar, about not choosing to eat turkey this christmas as a christmas present. So that shared Ill divulge all about my travels. The poo theme continues as i was given a book by the handsome Mexican which has been a thrilling read about earthworms and their potential to solve our fertiliser problems by managing our poop into humanure...So Ive been versing myself on extoling the virtues on sewerage systems in the US. Flooded with dinner party invites Ill be. I helped build the volunteers toilet in the jungle out of guano (banana leaf that is, also for all you avid Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls fans, the word for bat droppings) and I was privy to clean it out into the compost after 30 Mexican teenagers dumped their loads in it. Said teens were a bunch from Mexico City and each of us volunteers had to take a group of 6 of them for a whole day and teach them about the work we were doing. My arm shot up like a possessed rocket, not that unlike the saddu in India whats had his arm in the air for decades...when asked who wants to take the group cleaning the shit out of the chicken coop and then make compost with it alongside horse and cow poo. So an entire day spent with four different types of poo, 6 non english speaking students and 30 inspiring, friendly and wonderfully warm young people. Other things I did done do...swam in two beautiful cenotes (underground lakes)...had a romatic interlude with a mexican double of Jessie from Breaking Bad, YEA Mr.White, YEA science!...had a scorpion drop on my head and into my hair...came across a bizarre looking rope which on closer inspection (20ft or so) had a boa contrictors face attached to it...learnt some Mayan off a charming octagenarian man at a bus stop...got lost in the jungle as darkness descended, teaching me to get over my fears as I had to stomp up front with my torch and follow blindly a track to which I knew not where it ended in the pitch dark, turns out I didnt need so many pants as Ive barely shit myself at all when the things that were shit your knickers worthy came up...attended day of the dead celebrations which were utterly moving and fabulously bright, these Mexicanos got it right about death you know...climbed some hidden Mayan ruins...have lost a stone in blood and the ability to look at my legs without shuddering in repulsion to mozzie and bed bug bites...got a chemical burn on me arm from the Chichen tree which afforded me the amazing opportunity of healing myself with the bark of the Chakka tree which is the antidote...aside 4: old mayan folklore says that they were brothers once who both fell for the same bit of skirt and died together, my money says it got a bit stabby, so the poison grows right next to the antidote, like a less shit version of our nettles and doc leaves...went on a free tequila tasting tour...used a chainsaw (ok so I lied about the shitty knickers bit, there was definitely a touching cloth moment there)...made a dreamcatcher...wrote a poem...made a chair...made lots of amazing new friends who Ill never forget, their names escape me now...learnt a myriad of herbal trees...unwittingly shaved a tics head off which was clinging to my leg, turns out you can kill these suckers with a good old Gillete lady shave. Sooooo...woah big one there...but so much has happended and so much more than that too. Next to plan my 4 days in Mexico City where Ive already got a few friends there awaiting or more than likely avioding, my calls...then onwards to my second farm in the mountain state of Michoacan. Will be there till mid Dec which will probably be my next installment of Me in the A...but may stagger it sooner than that as theyre turning into big ole blog logs and no one likes too big a log...believe me, I know intimately all things log related now. So off to the mountains...but first stop Im gonna hunt me down a wild turkey, jump maniacally on its belly till all its innards explode in an - end of the fairy liquid bottle - type manner...then well see about karmic resolution. Love to you all and see you on the other side of some spectacular, sing like youre Julie Andrews before she starts nailing that Austrian hunk of a captain esque manner, mountains. Todos mis besos y amor mis amigos.xxxxxx
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 01:07:20 +0000
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