Melinda gave me the challenge of listing ten things people probably ont know about me. Challenge accepted. 1. Be you my worst enemy, my best friend, or anywhere in between: I will ALWAYS be willing to help if you reach out to me. Sure, there are some people I will go further out of my way for than others. Thats just how life is, sometimes, however; I always try to help people who need me. 2. I crave attention from people. I hate how this works, but thats just how I am. Every time I see my phone blank or my pages without notifications I die a little inside. I spend a lot of my time incredibly lonely just because I feel like nobody is interested in whats going on with me. Sure, its really unfair to expect people to jump out of their chairs clamoring to see how Im doing or to spend time with me; but just knowing that someone decided that I was worth the couple of minutes to check in on me makes me feel great. 3. As confident as I can tend to seem at times, it really isnt very hard for me to get discouraged. It doesnt take much of a bump in the road to derail my goals sometimes and it kills me knowing that it doesnt take much more than a tiny problem in the details to ruin the big picture. I have spent entire nights (in tears.... manly tears) wishing that I had the willpower to force myself through my hardships by myself and get everything I want by my own hands. Sadly, much as I wish I were strong enough to get what I want by myself, I cant. But there is a plus side... 4. I am always open to support from people I care about, even if I might not always show it the right way. In fact, I sincerely regret a lot of the times Ive gotten mad at people for trying to help me better myself for trying to help. It often doesnt even take much to give me that little morale boost to keep going. For example, I was ready to give up on working at McDonalds(which would have been a serious mistake) due to my first day being a living hell. Had it not been for a few people that encouraged me and told me it got better, I probably wouldnt be in a job I like as much as this one. 5. As casually as I take a lot of things in my life, I secretly long to be looked up to. Everyone has things they are good at and its hard for me to see when I am good at anything, but I really truly wish I were actually the BEST at something. I guess its more because, again, I want people to notice me. I want people to come to me with issues that only I can solve. 6. Sometimes the only thing that gets me up in the morning is the hope that I can find someone to share my life with. Sometimes it feels as though finding someone I can share love with is the only way I can ever make any of my big dreams happen(Ill share those in a bit.). 7. My favorite feeling in the world is being needed. I love having something to offer people. Sometimes this gets me into a little bit of trouble, as Im not very discrminatory about how much help Im willing to give people, but Im okay with it as I am sure that I will always get something back on my investment somehow... Eventually... Maybe... 8. I am HYPER critical of myself. My absolute biggest flaw is that I will never let myself live a single mistake down. I am quick to regret some minor decisions and it often weighs me down. Ive tried to find a way around this, but nothing I have tried has worked... In fact, those failures have only made the problem worse. 9. My biggest dream in life is to have a family, a wife that I can come home to that just makes all the wrong in the world disappear the instant I see her and even possibly some kids that I can pass all the things Ive learned on to. House, yard, pets, the whole nine yards. I want someone that I can give the world to and will not be afraid to give the world back. Im affectionate and romantic, and I would love to make unforgettable memories with someone who will love me unconditionally in return. Ive actually thought I found this a few times, but seeing as how dismally wrong Ive been, Im not entirely sure Ill ever have what I want anymore and that just blows. 10. I LOVE the concept of gifts! Giving them, getting them, doesnt matter. I love the feeling I get when I do it right and just happen to find just the something someone who has been on my mind has been dying to have. I love seeing the look on someones face when they get something that says I thought of you. I also always appreciate every gift I ever get, big or small. It makes me happy knowing someone was thinking of me long enough to find something they wanted to share with me in the hopes that I would think of them from time to time. And I do. Like this veritable novel and I will give you a number as well.
Posted on: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 00:20:30 +0000