Merry Christmas DUGL Atop the tallest hill for miles around silence crept throughout the mansion. The helipad was vacant, the halls empty, even the pitfall traps with their near constant moaning had quietened down for the night. In the master bedroom sat Maxwell Powers (OBE, PhD etc.) diligently reviewing the finances of Powers industries. “We are already a monopoly” his directors had cried, “the growth rates you demand are impossible, dont we make enough money”. Max at that point considered his options and opted for the trap door beneath his seat, after all flame-throwers arent in the Christmas spirit. As he worked into the night there was a knock at his bedroom door. “Go home!”, he called, “this is your one holiday of the year make the most of it!”. The door flew open and before Max stood Lord Hex,”Max Powers, how can you be so cruel during this most wonderful time of the year”. Max had no idea what he was talking about and merely asked how he got in here. “Dont change the subject, the number of doom squad members I used to get past the traps is immaterial to the doom squad members you still have trapped”. Max replied, ”you killed your own men to break into my house and complain about me capturing your men?”. Lord Hex apparently ignoring Max responded, “you will pay for your wicked ways Max! You will receive three visitors tonight, then you shall see the error of your ways”. “Couldnt you just not send wave after wave of your men at my mansion in the runup to Christm-”. “ERROR OF YOUR WAYS” Max Powers was awoken from his sleep by a loud crackling noise. A hole with the edges still glowing in that way that only molten walls do. From the hole stepped a figure, a red hat with a white bobble and a big bushy white beard did nothing to detract from the white labcoat and an array of gadgets and gizmos which caused flickering lights to play across the dimly lit walls. “What are you doing here Chronos?”sighed Max. “I know not this Chronos of which you speak but I do go by many names!” replied Doctor Chronos. “What did you do to my wall!?” Max Said with his face resting in his palm. “You didnt have a chimney”...”Well lets get this over with since Lord Hex has apparently saturated my security system with doom squad chunks”. “Yes Max! Step this way and learn the true meaning of Christmas!” Max begrudgingly took Chronos hand and in flash of light they were gone. A sharp crackle above the deserts surface created thin lines of glass along its surface and two figures appeared looking at the city in the distance. Huge monuments loomed in the distance shining white even in the dim light rising to a point hundreds of feet high. “This is a city that does not have christmas spirit” Chronos said dejectedly, “They are much like your society with tall buildings, a love of cats, a ruling class of Pharaohs” “We dont have those”interjected Max,”You do know that Egypt came before christmas right?”. “But those pointy things would look great with lights!” “...Please take me somewhere else” And in a flash of light they were gone. Max looked around and saw an ancient street, no street lights but the dim lights from candles within the primitive structures. The night was clear and as Max looked up he saw a star directly above him far brighter than all of the others...”Chronos where are we!?”. Chronos said nothing and led Max to a stable just off another building, inside were shepherds and animals gathered around a young couple who were sitting either side of a manger...”Chronos, where the hell are we!?”. “Dont worry about that now, just look at this young couple, making the best of Christmas even without a room to stay in, I think they need a present!”. Chronos went to the mother and presented her with two vials, one of some oils he used for his equipment and another with some crystalline material which filled the air with a sweet fragrance. “Go on Max you must have something...”. Max begrudgingly took out a Powers Industry pin badge that he had had made to celebrate the anniversary of him becoming a super. “Be careful with it! It is pure gold!” He said to the presumed father who accepted it graciously. “Ok Chronos I am not sure you realise what we just did but I have learnt the true meaning of Christmas and feel we should leave right now!” And in a flash of light they were back in Maxs room. Chronos left content that his mission was complete and wondering how the next would fare. Max had tried to drift off to sleep but couldnt help but think over what had just happened and so he was lying there wide awake when the second visitor arrived. She was tall and wore a Santa hat and had eyes full of joy but also a hint of malevolence which made people around her anxious. “Hello Max, Ive checked my list!” Max responded wit a slight smirk”go and check it twice, I want to sleep!”. “Your actions have ruined the lives of many, come with me and see what your actions have wrought”. “Fine, lets get this over with”. They left via Advents reindeer drawn sleigh which dashed through the streets at breakneck speeds. Several streets over they arrived at a mansion. While by Maxs standards it was a hovel it was still an enormous property, four floors, garage for a dozen cars and a 30 foot Christmas tree sitting on the lawn. “I recognise this place” exclaimed Max, “This is the house of the director I expelled whats his name...”. “Firing someone at Christmas time is a very naughty thing to do Max! Look inside and see the suffering you have brought on this family”. Max peered in the window and saw a beautifully trimmed tree with presents bursting from its base. A roaring fire with a glass of milk, cookies and a carrot sitting on a table nearby. Finally three small children sleeping under blankets hoping to catch Santa. “Oh yeh what have I done!” Max quipped “He may need to move to a smaller mansion”. “Shit! This is normally more dramatic, lets see how his wife is doing”. They entered the house and wandered the corridors past endless rooms (an exasperated Advent exclaimed”One of these has to be his!”). Eventually they saw his wife in the kitchen seemingly waiting. “Look at her up this late worrying! Clearly this family isnt as well off as you tho-” Advent said before being interrupted by a knock at the door. She opened the door and a man walked in, they kissed passionately before she said “Everyone is asleep, we should use one of the guest rooms”. They ran out of the kitchen while Advent and Max watched on subtly. “OK you made me feel sorry for this guy, what else have you got?” Advent and Max rode the sleigh back to Maxs mansion but stopped in the middle of the lawn. “So are we done here?” asked Max really just wanting some sleep. Advent raised a finger to her lips and said “Listen”. Drifting up from a nearby pitfall was a familiar melody, “Silent Night, Holy Night...”. “Is that the Doom Squad?” Max asked quizzically. “Even in light of such hardship they have not forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Dont you think they deserve to be with their family at this time of the year”. Max sighed and said “You are right, this pit is no place for them to spend Christmas”. With a push of a concealed button the bottom of the pit opened up and the carols were interrupted by screams which grew distant before the bottom of the pit closed once again. “There are a bunch of them in the dungeon, they can all be together” said Max smugly “I really need to look in to making these pits more lethal. Maybe spikes or acid...”. A stunned Advent dragged Max back into the sleigh and threw him out at the door. “Maybe the next person will have better luck” She said as she pulled on the reigns and sped off into the night. Max crawled back into bed and slept nervously waiting for the next visitor to arrive.Max had finally drifted off to sleep when a voice from across the room calmly spoke up“get up Max, we have stuff to do”. Max looked up and saw a figure clothed in black robes with a heavy hood covering its face, a BRIGHT Baton on its right hip and a notebook held in its left hand. “Who are you?” Max asked with a sight twinge of nervousness showing in his voice. The figure lowered the hood and pointed to a badge on the front of the robes which read “BRIAN PETERS:HUMAN-SUPERS RELATIONS OFFICER”. “Brian? What are you doing here. Why would BRIGHT listen to Lord Hex?”. Brian rolled his eyes and calmly replied”He kept turning Mr Right into a frog and promised he would stop if I showed you your future Christmas. It seemed like the only way”. “So where are we going?”Max asked. Brian began writing in his notebook and replied “Not entirely sure, he was pretty vague and seemed to think I knew a lot more about you than I actually do...”. Brian stopped writing and walked over to Max, Brian touched his shoulder.They appeared in the same room they had just left but the furniture had changed places. “ 12:49 December 25th 1980” Brian said calmly”Lets see what a couple of years has done”. Brian directed Max to the door but Max said there was no need, as Brian looked at him quizzically the door opened and Max Powers walked into the room. “Merry Christmas Brian, it has been a while” said Max, turning to Max he continued “so you have lots of questions and the answers are yes, no, 12, yes, Janet, Peridot, Comoros, God NO and Apple inc”. “Thank you” said Max, “Doing much for Christmas this year”. “Oh same old, arranged a ski trip with a few world leaders” replied Max. “Good to know” said Max before Brian stopped his frantic scribbling and they both vanished again.“Christmas! I am not telling you the date this time!”Brain snapped “Lets try and observe this time instead of your future sel-” “Morning” interrupted Max, “Its 2020 in case you were wondering”. “You are looking good for it” Max Responded. “Well that youth serum we developed definitely helped we are basically immortal these days” Max said with a thicker than usual air of superiority. “Dont you have a list of answers?” moaned Brian. “Nah no need everything turns out great, Powers industries continues to rake in the cash and I still have all of the world leaders in my pocket. Even the Aliens arent too much of a problem these days” said Max. “Good to know” said Max,”I am guessing Brian will be taking me back now since Lord Hex clearly didnt plan for any of this”. “Give me a second to doublecheck and then we will be off” said Brian impatiently, “Merry Christmas by the way”.With that Max and Brian reappeared in Maxs room in the present day. “Well that was a waste of time” said Brian”If Lord Hex asks pretend you were miserable in the future”. Brian vanished once more leaving Max alone. He slept soundly knowing the future was bright and the next day he woke up invigorated. He ordered a Christmas dinner to be taken down to the Dungeon and left just out of reach of the Doom Squad. He sent carollers to the house of his former director, supplied them with raunchy lyrics and a sign that read “SHES CHEATING ON YOU” in the most jolly font he could find. And before he decided which exclusive Christmas dinner to attend this year he remembered those answers he had received. It was going to be a very good year! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good light! By Adam Groves aged 23 and a half
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:22:41 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015