Merry Christmas everyone! He is your classic MwT throwback Thursday Call! Messing with Telemarketers: And the Truth Shall Set You Free- An odd new twist to the “Are you looking to go back to school?” brand of calls happened today. It opened instead with, “I think you are looking for a job, yes?” Confused I decided to play along. The agent proceeded to inform me that if I were to go through what I have come to know as a college locator service call and give an exact series of answers to their question, a hiring manager would call with a position for me in the next 24 hours. The agent proceeded to inform me that when I was transferred to what I now call a college locator service call, I would have a hiring manager call me back within 24 hours to give me a job. All I had to do was use the specific answers they were going to give me. Over the next few minutes, they coached me on the complex answer system I was to use: What did I want to study? - Business. When did I want to go back to school? – 3 to 6 months. ON a scale of 1-5 (5 being the highest) what was my interest in going back to school? - 5. And, the most important, when asked if I had been promised anything in exchange for using the service, I MUST say no. Apparently these answers were so difficult to learn, they made me practice three times. I was ready, I knew I could do it, nothing could go wrong... Indian Telemarketer: Ok, I will now transfer you to the college advisor ok? Me: Ok! *Short hold* American Telemarketer: Education Futures this is Brandon. Indian Telemarketer: Hello, Brandon. I have Haven on the line and he wants to study the business. You can go ahead now Haven. Me: Hello. American Telemarketer: Hello, Haven! How are you today? Me: Good! Yourself? American Telemarketer: I’m good! Thank you for asking. So you want to study business? Me: I sure do. American Telemarketer: If everything worked out, how soon would you be looking to go back to school? Me: 3 to 6 months American Telemarketer: Very good sir! On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest, how motivated are you in going back to school? Me: Definitely a 5 sir. American Telemarketer: Excellent. The gentlemen you were talking to before he transferred you to me… Did he promise you a prize, was the call part of a contest, or any other consideration in return for talking to me? Me: Yes, he offered me employment of some type that was unspecified. He then proceeded to coach me on what answers to give you. Indian Telemarketer: *breaks in cursing* American Telemarketer: What was that? Me: The Indian guy breaking in on the conversation I assume. American Telemarketer: And he promised you a job?! Me: Yes he did. *Suddenly one second intervals of Bollywood music starts intermittently playing to drown out the conversation* American Telemarketer: What is that? Me: The Indian guy pushing the hold button giving us music to disrupt what I am saying I think. American Telemarketer: So you aren’t doing that? Me: Yes… I’m the one playing Bollywood hold music… Because there are such a wide selection of Bollywood stations here in Texas. American Telemarketer: Yeah… that’s a good point. Indian Telemarketer: *Curses angrily and then disconnects both of us*
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 17:03:34 +0000