Messin with Sasquatch....:) I posted a year or so ago that Dinah bolted from the room while I put my pajamas on because I refused to sit on the side of the bed and pull them on one leg at a time like the wimps do. When I was younger it was no problem at all-just standing in the middle of the floor,opening one leg at a time and shoving my foot through. I was able to hold onto my man card in the process for almost 80 years without a bang a whimper or a woman running screaming out of the room while I hopped around on one leg like a ruptured Stork grabbing for anything I could hold on to-usually her or the bed post. But time, circumstance and my gynecologist were working against me for the past few years (Its bad enough when you have one woman wagging her finger in your face, let alone two) and I began to either hold on to Dianne or the corner of the dresser or land on my rear in the floor or in the middle of her lap if I could make it. I tried to explain to the woman that it was only because my foot got caught sideways in the pajama leg or was distracted by her whooping at some guest on the Dr. Phil Show but she would either put her hand over her eyes and mutter Oh Lord,not again-Im not DOING this!! or simply bolt screaming from the room like a liberal who just spotted a Methodist minister. But yesterday evening when I had climbed on my second White Horse the old fighter came got up off the canvass (cue Rocky theme) and I came roaring back. I headed for the dresser drawer where my tattered and fading Man Card rested under my Hawaiian shirt, my pink bow tie. my 45 rpm rendition of Walk Like A Man and a 1980s ad for testosterone booster. I stuck it back in my wallet and yelled Im just not DOING this anymore!!! Then Dinah stuck her head in the door and saw me dancing around and pumping my fists with my pajama bottoms hanging from my teeth. Look, ive slept on orange crates, pine straw, banana tree leaves, Spanish moss and gator nests in my 80 plus years on this planet. The living room floor is a piece of cake.....
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 17:05:46 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015