Messing with Telemarketers: Cant Teach a New Dog Old Tricks- *Ring* ME: Hello? THEM: Hello can I speak with Oran Gejulius. ME: Orange Julius? THEM: Oh, I’m sorry! Did I get that wrong? ME: A bit. This is Orange, but I go by Steve. THEM: Oh hi Steve! This is Rebecca with [An online university that may or may not have the same name as a town in Arizona]. How are you doing today? ME: I’m slowly melting. Yourself? THEM: Oh, it is still a bit warm here too! I was calling because you had expressed an interest in going back to school? ME: Yes I did. THEM: Great! We can definitely help you reach that goal! What made you interested in going back to school? ME: While I am good at my current job, I want to seek out a career in an excitingly old field. THEM: We would love to help you with that! Do you know what area you were looking to study? ME: Well I would really like to start an exciting career as a Privateer. THEM: A what? ME: A Privateer. THEM: Oh, ok… um… Let me see… Is that in the business field? ME: It was certainly associated with mergers and acquisitions… mostly acquisitions. THEM: Ok, let me look through our business offerings. ME: Take your time. THEM: Ok, can you tell me a little more about it? ME: It deals with international trade and shipping. THEM: Well we do offer a Global Business program. Does that sound like it would be a good fit? ME: Does it have much about seamanship? THEM: Um… no? ME: Then probably would miss several of the basics I need. THEM: Ok, I’m sorry to hear that. Was there any other fields you were interested in? ME: How about Hoplite? THEM: What was that again? ME: Hoplite. THEM: Is that a business field as well? ME: Military actually. THEM: Oh, I’m sorry but we don’t offer military applicable courses here. ME: I see… THEM: I’m sorry sir. Is there any other fields perhaps? ME: Cooper? THEM: I don’t know what that is… ME: A tradesman position. THEM: We aren’t a trade school sir. I’m very sorry. ME: Are you all actually a college? Do you, in fact, actually have any courses? THEM: Can you hold sir? I think my manager might be able to better assist you. ME: Fine. *30 seconds later* SUPERVISOR: Hello, this is Jessica the floor supervisor. How are you today, sir? ME: A bit annoyed Jessica. SUPERVISOR: I’m sorry to hear that sir. What seems to be the trouble? ME: You all don’t seem to offer a single course in the obsolete fields I want to study. SUPERVISOR: I don’t understand what you mean, sir. ME: I want to study for an exciting career in a field that doesn’t exist anymore and you all don’t seem to offer any of the fields I am looking for! SUPERVISOR: Why would you want to study in a field that doesn’t exist any longer? ME: To keep my parents off my back, of course! “It’s not that I am not looking for a job, Dad! It’s just that there aren’t any in my field!” That kind of thing! SUPERVISOR: We don’t offer courses in fields that don’t exist anymore, sir… ME: Are you sure? What about courses in becoming a Soda Jerk or a Samurai? SUPERVISOR: No sir… ME: Man-at-Arms or Drummer Boy? SUPERVISOR: No sir… We offer business, technology, criminal justice, and fields like that. Do any of those interest you? ME: What about switchboard operator? It was a high tech job in the 1920’s! SUPERVISOR: We only offer degree programs in areas that are high tech today sir, not in the 1920’s. ME: So courses on being a lamplighter or town crier are right out then? SUPERVISOR: Yes sir. ME: So I will need to get my degree to be a Telegraphist somewhere else then? SUPERVISOR: Yes, and I will note you interest in those fields so you don’t get more calls from us. I would hate to waste your time since we obviously cannot help you with your education needs. ME: Well I thank you for your time. If you all develop an Alchemist career training program, please give me a call. SUPERVISOR: I’m sure we will, sir. *click*
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 13:00:26 +0000
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