Messing with Telemarketers: Creepy Last Request- *Ring* ME: Hello? THEM: Hello, sir! This is Bryan with [A “final expenses” insurance firm]. How are you today? ME: Pretty good. I’m trying to figure out if this video I’m watching is C-Span footage from the House floor as they debate border control legislation or a Speedy Gonzales cartoon. THEM: I’m sorry? ME: They both have the potential for featuring Ted Cruz screaming about something. Anyway, what was it you were calling about? THEM: We were calling because you had expressed interest in a final expenses insurance plan. Is that still correct? ME: As I am on my way out, I think it is something I need. THEM: Well planning for the inevitable end is certainly a responsible approach and will save your loved ones stress during an already difficult time. ME: Makes sense. THEM: What were you looking to provide for with this policy? To take care of a mortgage? Just funeral expenses? ME: I need to finance enough that my estate can shoot and distribute Weekend at Bernie’s: The Next Generation with my corpse. THEM: What? ME: I want to finance my corpse being used for a new Weekend at Bernie’s movie set in Las Vegas. THEM: I don’t know how much that would cost… ME: Depends on whether or not we take care of the legal expenses as part of it, really… THEM: Um… *Click*
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 14:00:00 +0000