Missing the one person I loved more than I loved myself. My Daddy. Does a person ever come 2 terms with death? Feels like da day my dad died I was stabbed in my heart n the knife is still stuck, doesnt feel like it would ever get out there again, 2night is 1 of those nights I cant stop thinking bout him while da tears are running down my cheaks, its still so unreal 2 me feels like Im having a bad dream and struggling 2 wake up and when I do he will be hugging me and saying it was just a dream and everything will be ok. I realize now Im not ready 2 b without him never was n never will be, we had a lot of fights but he was not only my dad he was my role model an inspiration 2 me and my friend, we did a lot of things 2gther 4rm fishing,playing cards,golfing 2 even clubbing 2gther and hanging out. We shared a bond that he had with no other, we would fight like cat&dog coz I was just like him always wnted 2 b right even tough I was wrong would never back of coz that was 1 of da things I got 4rm him never 2 give in 2 anyone always come out as the winner, had hes personality geez I have everything of him n 2day I realize how much me n my dad had in common, he was da one who encourage me 2 live my life 2da fullest 2 learn 4rm my mistakes and 2 become a better person, he made me c life 4rm a guys point of veiw instead of a ladies he raised me as if I was a boy lolz and those were the best years of my life still remember how proud he was when I made da SWD ladies Soccer team couldnt stop bragging by his friends when I got diplomas 4 al my subjects in school and the list could just go on, he was good in wotever he took on and he made name 4 himself in many ways I could always say with a smile on my face 2 people thats my dad when they say something bout the policemen whos so full of crap and yet always deliver 2 his community. And now al I have is memories. While Im not ready 2 b without him I still need him and my kids. They still so young and dont understand a lot of things dad y did u have 2 leave us u made Ava so used 2 her weekly strawberries,apples,oranges and sweets every tuesday or wednesday morning shell sit in da lounge with a smile on her face coz she knows her oupa jantjies gonna bring her something nice, just when lathon got used 2 u again u dissapeared out of his life and he couldnt understand where hes oupa went 2, we had such big plans 4 da future and now my future dont look so bright anymore coz u not part of it no more, how can I be happy when a big part of my heart is ripped apart, I taught Im strong enough but u know wot I lied Im not. Y did u have to go, wish it was me instead of u. I would really give al my 2mrws just 2 have more time with u,theres so many things I wanted 2 say 2 u still and wnted 2 do with u and now everything just looks and seems pointless. Its 9months and 9days 2day and yet it seems like yesterday. Oh daddy plz come back even if its just 4 a little while plz do I might be a parent myslef but I still need both of mine in my life,I dont think ill ever be able 2 let go of you not now not ever. I wish I can be in your arms right now 2 tell you how much I love you and how much you mean 2 me and how much I still need u not just me but my kids Clyde and even Mom. Ur death was a big shock 2 al of us and I know Im not da only one crying myself 2 sleap at night coz u left a big mark in everyones hearts. 2day is the 1st time after ur funeral I really cried and while Im typing this Im still crying it feels as if Im standing in the rain but I guess its a good thing 2 let it al out after so long, tears wont bring u back tough I wish I knew wot would that would make me happier than anything in this world, but I guess that only happens in movies and dreams so 4rm now on ima live in my own fairytale by imagining u still with me coz ill never be able 2 accept that u not. U might be gone but u will never be forgotten Daddy u will always be in my heart now and forever. Ill always cherish our memories and one day ill be beside u agen then we will share in the old ones and create new ones 2gether again, cant wait 4 that day 2 come. May your soul rest in peace my beloved father. Love you always ur loving daughter and grandkids. Has anyone like u felt like this. Is it normal 2 b like this All I want is my daddy back I still need #Do we ever get over dead????????? #Deveous
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 09:17:00 +0000