Mixed weddings? A brother attempts to justify his presence in a mixed wedding was out of necessity! The second says its permitted as its like entering a Restaurent!! Then another argues that hes only sitting with his family so hes upholding Silat ar-rahm (ties to kinship)!!! And another argues hes mixing but not free-mixing (ie hes not chattin them up)!!!! What is this?!!!!! Imam Abu Dawud (rh) reports in his Sunan that the Rasulullah (saws) said, O men and women separate yourselves, it is not allowed for you to be in the same place. The adillah (evidences) for the obligation of segregation is general, so to mix (al-ikhtilaat) requires specific daleel (evidence) Weddings (walimah or nikah) are private functions where there exist no daleel for mixing hence segregation is an obligation. The scholars differ whether this segregation needs to have a physical barrier or not (al-ijtimaah). I understand it is difficult due to culture and family pressure but it only requires two people to actually make the segregation happen: The Groom and the Father of the Bride (al-wali al-amr). The rest will follow. To the Groom: If youre not a man to stand firm for your nikah & walimah then how can you be a man to your wife!! How are you going to be firm upon your deen with the marital obligations (and those that emanate from it (eg father)) and lifes challenges! To the Father of the Bride: how could you allow your daughter to marry a wimp, a coward in his own wedding! What kind of honour do you hold for your daughter that you give her away on a prohibition! And the Imam, who makes it all happen! Even though you see yourself as a follower to what the parties agree, in truth youre seen as a leader. Why werent you firm upon the prohibition of mixing! Youre supposed to be the person of knowledge! Make it clear to the parties that you will not take part unless theres segregation. To the Bride, many dream to live like Khadijah (ra) (ie married to a noble person) but end up like Aasiyah (as) (ie married to a tyrant). I know it is very difficult as many get pressured but if youre strong then you have the greatest influence on your father - more than your mother. Truly for a loving father to give away his daughter is like separating his heart from his body. And you also can have the greatest influence on the Groom, if he is a man hell honour you.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 14:12:12 +0000
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