Moment of transparency... Ive seen quite a few posts of people - TopicsExpress

Moment of transparency... Ive seen quite a few posts of people judging those who commit suicide. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but what I will say is this; until you have personally dealt with the spirit of depression you have NO idea how you would react or be affected by it. I have dealt with another form of depression- postpartum depression. Prior to that you could not have PAID me to believe that someone as mentally strong as I proclaim myself to be would fall into the deepest throes of this illness. I would keep the house dark and CRY from the moment my husband left the house until he came home. I would hear voices in my head taunting me, trying to coerce me into doing strange things...voices so loud that I would have to TALK OVER THEM to block them out! I was angry at my baby for simply being a baby and crying when thats what newborns do. I didnt want company, I didnt to talk, I didnt want my husband to even touch my hand...and it wasnt until after the fact that I realized I needed help. Professional help. Medication perhaps. It was ONLY by the grace of God that I didnt take heed to the voices I heard and do something to harm myself or my child/children. This is why I watch my friends and family closely after they give birth because I can recognize the signs...as I wish someone could have recognized mine. Judge me if you must- thats a risk Ill take if it helps someone to find a little more compassion or helps someone to seek help. Please understand that a sound mind is a gift. You NEVER know what people are dealing with....

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