Monday Morning Musings (sans Max as he slept in)... So this morning i want to pose the question, which matters most intent or result? Is this gender biased? Let me elucidate by example. Recently i had two different interactions, both incidently with former significant others , that caused me to notice that people (and in these instances women) react more to result than intent. In the first I said something derogatory about a certain town i find quite frankly ugly, as does most anyone with any aesthetic values. I am well aware that this person also passionately hates the town but lives there for work. At any rate she said that my comment was rude and disrespectful to her and that I do not realize how hurtful i am sometimes as i express my opinions with out regard to the other persons feelings. The second occurrence was when i received a gift from someone and it was clear that the gift was something that she liked and not my taste at all. I of course said thank you but i did not gush over it. I would never be so rude as to say anything negative but i feel it is disingenuous to feign enthusiasm. Both of these are fairly common occurrence with me. The fact they were with women, i feel is just coincidental, as with the exception of my son, the majority of my interpersonal relationships are with women as i tend to have more female than male friends. So my question dear friends is one, should we chose our words and actions so as to always get a positive result for the recipient or to honestly express what we feel (okay that is a loaded question isnt it)? And secondly, do men and women react differently? Traditional gender roles would say that females are both more intuitive and sensitive than males but my opinion is they are not; it is just traditionally men are encouraged to suppress emotional responses. As for me i always consider if someone did something TO hurt me not THAT hurt me and react accordingly. Not because i am noble or self involved but because i am an autonomous, egotistical bastard and therefore always want personal credit for all my emotions :)
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 13:16:40 +0000
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