Morning December 24th, 2014 Our nephew Derrick came by today and we went out to lunch together. This was a welcome time of conversation and companionship for the better part of the afternoon. Derrick is one of four siblings born at the same time, quadruplets. Derrick has a gentle soul and has always been a caring person. My memories of Derrick and his brothers and sisters begin twenty-two years ago on a November 11th. He was just around three pounds when he was born. Like his brother and two sisters that were born all within minutes of each other, he spent time in the NICU before coming home. They all wore monitors to insure their heart rate was within acceptable limits. I can remember when they would move around sometimes the monitors would alarm. It took a while for everyone to learn when the alarms really meant something and when they were just set off from an interrupted signal. Fast forward to 2013 and again it is November 11th. Kendra is in the hospital in critical condition and her baby could be in danger if the doctors and nurses do not take immediate action. Meredith was born twelve minutes past midnight on November 12th, only minutes separating her birth from being the same day as her 2nd cousins. Shirley and I were in Puerto Rico waiting at the airport to fly home when we learned about Kendra’s situation and what could possibly be an emergency Caesarian section to help little Meredith. The flight from Puerto Rico to Miami seemed to take forever as did the flight from Miami to Pensacola. We knew the seriousness of what was happening. The reality settled in when we arrived in Pensacola and found out we would have to go to Birmingham because an Angel Flight had taken Kendra to Birmingham. December 24th and 25th are barely recallable memories. We had a nice dinner because of a sweet lady, Carol Miller, who a wonderful meal for us. The obscure memories of those days all have one thing in common. A dread and weariness that had settled in to my life watching and waiting with my family with Kendra in her hospital room was always present. Today I had a lot of distractions from family and a friends. We went in to Pensacola in the evening to eat with Kay, a dear friend of our family, the Smiths our friends from long ago when Kendra was in the Pensacola Children’s Chorus and Kay’s daughter, her husband and their infant boy. Today Meredith is here and she will serve as a distraction to keep my mind active and pursuing other thoughts than those of a year ago. In fact, Meredith will palliate my actions, taking me to a better place at least for a little while. I can feel the waves of emotion building. There is little I can do except ride out the storm and keep my feet planted firmly on the deck when the seas begin to roll. I am so thankful for Derek and Kay and J.D. and Nannette and Kay’s daughter and family. They don’t know really how much they helped me last evening to stay grounded and calm. Dont let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. Earl Nightingale. Time is not an enemy to me like it once was while we were in Birmingham. Every day, every hour ticked off the opportunity for Kendra’s life to return to what it was before she became ill. Time told us things we didn’t want to hear or accept. Now, time is not measured in hours or days anymore. It is measured in how many breaths I take without stopping to rest. It is time that allows me to heal and to move a bit closer to living life in a way that does not take me back to Birmingham. Time helps me recognize my emotions are not always going to be a detriment. Smiling is not betrayal, calm is not abandonment. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. Psalm 34:7-9 “The” angel of the Lord only appears in the Old Testament. Angels are found in the New Testament, but after the incarnation of Christ, there is no more mention of “The” angel of the Lord. There are a lot of thoughts and ideas about who The angel of the Lord might be. Some think it may be the Lord himself in a physical form because those that saw the angel feared for their lives. Others say it is the Lord because of the authority this angel had when delivering messages to people. Here is an example: What I glean from the Old Testament is that God’s own power and glory is available to each of us and we can put our confidence in God if we come to Him and let Him show us how blessed we can be in His will. What I know is that God can help me, the evidence is in the reading. The clues are in the actions seen so many times in both testaments. Lord thank you for being my savior. Thank you for loving me more than I can know and understand. Blessed is your name and your power and your grace for anyone that believes. Help me to make it through this part of the journey. Help me to be strong and confident in your love through spirit and through those that you place in my path to help me. God is good. Papi
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 12:40:00 +0000
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