Most days I have Lupus/RA...today it has me...I HATE when that happens...to the dr for a shot?? hope so. I Have Lupus By Faye Bykerk, Kendra’s Mom I relate so much to this article (Lupus and the War Within by Shar Phoenix). Most days I see Lupus as a blessing I have...and not so much as some terrible misfortune that has me, that I must struggle against and overcome. I have learned to accept it, and honestly the most difficult thing about it is how it affects my family and limits my friendships. It is difficult to know that my condition limits what I can do for them and with them, causes them frustrations and concerns and forces them to help me when I would rather not need help. Still it is a blessing to know that I still am able to do many things for them, and with them that many other people with other conditions cannot. I see people who have sacrificed limbs, sight, or mental capacity for our great nation’s defense; others who have lost their health or abilities simply due to some unfortunate accident or foolish choice and I am humbled by the fact that I can still walk, see, and my “Lupus Fog” forgetfulness and confusion are baggage I can live with and while continuing to pursue a number of goals in my life. I have pain, but it is controllable and, when I have periods of pain that I cannot control I am thankful that my pain will pass unlike that some people experience. Despite my condition, God has blessed me with the thing I wanted most...a family...and not just any family but a large family while many women with Lupus are not able to have children or choose not to take the medical risk. When I see people who will never have a “good” day, or even part of a good day or a family of their own I am thankful that to God that He allowed me to have Lupus instead of so many other ailments I could have had. My Lupus forces me to address my human weakness and to remember that “in my weakness He is strong” on a daily basis. About the time I begin to think I am able to achieve anything on my own, I succumb to a flare. And once again, I am forced to take a break, a nap, or sometimes a week or a month to recuperate and reflect on His grace and how sufficient it truly is for me. When I find myself fighting against Lupus, I realize that it has me...if it did not why would I be struggling to break free? And so, once again in the endless cycle, I submit to my “thorn in the flesh”, accept having to pace myself through another day, and thank God that “the joy of the Lord is truly my Strength“. And I smile a little smile of self-satisfaction because by embracing my disease it no longer has me...I have it.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:04:38 +0000
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