Most of the time, we start a relationship with the best of intentions, automatically thinking that we consider each other equals, and we will be honored, supported, appreciated, encouraged, helped in that relationship. We think that were considered by our partner in the same way that we consider our partner. No one gets into a relationship knowing -- or even thinking -- that its going to become or be a very bad and oppressive experience for them. No one thinks that its going to end up being a very unbalanced partnership. But relationships can start out seeming very promising and very good, and somewhere along the way, you can feel the balance shifting, either subtly or obviously. What was supposed to be a team that benefits both people clearly is becoming to the benefit of one person, and to the detriment of the other. A team, an equally beneficial relationship, is not one where one person gets to stand in the sunlight and another person gets to stand in the shadows. The shadow is largely created by the person who deems him/herself to be more important/dominant/the leader/the boss, and who creates a dark place for his/her partner to be in. No one chooses to continually be in a place of darkness, and to be in a place that becomes darker and darker with each passing day. What may begin as an attempt to defer to your partner now and then out of love, respect, consideration and cooperation, may become a requirement, a demand, an expectation and the rule. Being forced to follow along and stand in your partners shadow continually is not an honorable or an honored place to be. Its then very difficult -- if not impossible -- to regain your right to sunlight once youve been relegated to standing in that persons shadow. Unfortunately or fortunately, people in relationships will start to behave more and more according to what they truly are when they feel empowered, entitled and safe in doing so, once they feel they have taken or been given the power to and act as they choose. No one should force another person to stand in his/her shadow, and no one should have to choose standing in anothers shadow in order to maintain, save or continue in the relationship. Please respect and value yourself more than to willingly accept being in such a dark, dreary and dishonorable place. You deserve your time in the sun, too.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 18:34:35 +0000