Motherhood On the precipice of the maternal edifice, you once tiptoed, like a ballet dancers kiss, into the midst of my room. Behind the clutch of dupatta, you told me the story of your womb.“Peersaab, pray to Allah, taveez me, amulet me, un-evil-eye me. I want a child.”A heart drenched in the blood of your miscarriages and soaked in the loss of a newborn. Beating still, soaking and dripping. Still mourning and yearning. Your plea rang a thousand bells and wrote a thousand tales. My dua had no effect. It was your dinky dua that did it. For you painted it, dreamt it, wove it, moved with it, sewed it, cooked it, breathed it, slept with it. Ta-dum. Ta-dum. Ta-dum. I sensed, I felt, I knew motherhood would not evade you. Angels wrote it on the night of Laylatul Qadr, the epitaph of an upcoming bond. Pulse Life Breath Soft fingers Enquiring eyes The half-smile of a baby boy I saw you hold him gingerly protectively I saw you stay up all night nursing his fevers I saw the love that could travel to the moon and the stars and bounce back with even more love filled with rocket debris You fought for him when people said he was futureless and hopeless I saw you walk miles and miles to his new primary school, however uncool, only to reassure him during lunch hour, to tell him that all will be okay, to be his invisible hug, beneath barriers of green fence railings and dinnerladies. I saw you praise all his achievements, big or small. I saw your guilt after every scolding during his phase of rebellion. I saw too you bite your tongue until it bled. Soaking and dripping. Burying unspoken harsh words and thoughts.I saw you learn to readily offer forgiveness and learn to engulf yourself in the art of letting go. Who told you motherhood was easy? Who told you it just happens? Easy-peasy like a tin of mushy peas? No, dear. Its like the atta you roll out, each eventual roti, marked with charcoaled spots of love. Clap, tap, clap.You met me just once, yet I saw. Saw the map of your heart ever so clearly, lucidly. Ta-dum - Shahid Iqbal Khan
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 20:52:05 +0000
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