Mum question:I desperately need help, my husband and I are having a bub in Feb Im so excited except my mother in law demands in being at the hospital Ive tried talking to her about it and her comments were its my grand child il see her when ever I want Ive tried discussing it with my husband and he assures me that she will stay in the waiting room but when Ive been in the hospital previously she just barges in when I didnt want her there either. My husband just sides w his mum and says Im being unreasonable. Am I? Its just stressing me out so much I dont want her there I just want it to be me my husband and my mum(shes traveling from overseas to be there) am I being unreasonable? How can I get my husband and mother in law to see it from my point of view Pinky says: Its a birth day, not a party! You have every right to have just your mother and your husband present in the birthing space. You need to feel completely comfortable and safe with no friction - stress inhibits your labour hormones. You can call your MIL in so she sees your baby soon after he/she is born - she will naturally be excited and it will be unkind to exclude her from seeing her grandchild. However, the birth is about you being able to relax and focus on having your baby not pleasing everyone. Perhaps you could hire a doula to help hold your space - even if its not for the birth but as a mediator to discuss this with your husband while you are preparing for birth -this could be a private consult about how to make labour easier, which of course is about creating a space where you are safe and private. Its been said that the best environment for birthing a baby is the same as for making a baby. Read Sarah Buckleys book Gentle Birth , Gentle Mothering , my book Parenting By Heart, and Rhea Dempseys book Birthing with Confidence. You could also consider attending a birth class with an independent childbirtheducator rather than just the hospital classes so your husband is helped to understand how important it is for him to support you. Stay strong and get your support network in place - if your mil is pushy now, she will probably be pushy when you have a baby.Even though she means well - it sounds as though she is thinking about her needs not yours - and you are the one giving birth.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 08:20:55 +0000
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