Murphys Real Laws 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some dont have film. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 7. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty. 8. Seen it all, done it all. Cant remember most of it. 9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who dont. 10. I feel like Im diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 11. Shes always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the June flower. 12. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. 13. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 14. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 15. Pardon my driving, Im reloading. 16. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? 17. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 18. Just remember if it wasnt for gravity, wed all fall off. ( Or up) 19. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, theres a 90% probability youll get it wrong. 20. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. 21. You cant have everything. Where would you put it? 22. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population. 23. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 24. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 25. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking. 26. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 27. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture. 28. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 29. Everybody lies, but it doesnt matter since nobody listens. 30. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. 31. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 32. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. 33. Added, he who dies with the most toys is dead. There are no winners in death. (Remember that the next time you’re trying to pass.) Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 01:49:33 +0000
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