Music to me is my heart beat its my everything , my life force. Lately what Im getting from it (music andmusic business) is turning me into someone im not liking . Im beyond upset with what Ive been seeing and and actions that have occurred at recur t shows Ive hosted . Metal is supposed to be a brotherhood , a bond , a family. Having so called partners just disappear in the middle of a show with no notification , bands playing and then leaving as their set is done , people saying theyre there to help out and then bail to go chase ass . To people telling me they support what it is that I do when were face to face and then NEVER there coming out to see what it is that I bring to town To bands only attending shows they play to putting together a PA (the most valuable thing I possess) to make shows happen on my own only to have it be a free for all to anyone who wants to use and damage my gear and then have to deal with self righteous, vindictive people using my gear to Solid venues closing to venues that do nothing or respect you and have prejudice views about what it is that I do but yet I make them money hell ive even broke sale records for one day at a venue during slow season to only get grief. Ive given the music business my all and its its chewed me up and spit me out. The time has definitely come to walk away from it , something Ive dedicated my life to for about ten years . I apologize for my bullshit unhappy rants I just wish that I could reach out and touch you and have you feel what it is that I feel and how much that music means to me just once . Last night I acted completely out of line in frustration , in sadness , in anger and in depression and almost destroyed an amazing thing I have with the girl that has been by my side for two years supporting this life I thought I could never live without now Im thankful that Im walking away cause if Im acting like a prick to the ones that love me and support my life Im doing something completely wrong . Music has brought me so much joy , great friends and great times . Some I remember and some Ill never recollect ;) Ive meat some of the strongest , true hearted and solid individuals through all of this .and I wouldnt change it for anything however the time has come to not have this stress in my life. Im truly grateful to anyone who has supported Born Dead Prod over the last ten years. Its now time to focus on my band and get us on the road to spread our vibrations to the world. Thank you all for the support over the years . ML&R ~ josh
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 17:03:01 +0000
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