My Last weeks message transcribed: Secret of harmony in relationships Hello everyone. Today I want to share with you what I have found to be one of the greatest secrets to actually succeed in relationships. Or to attract the right relationships, the soul mate relationship we are all seeking. The ultimate relationship is a relationship by which each one of the partners in this relationship thinks about the other person; is basically becoming selfless. And to the extent that you become selfless, and your partner becomes selfless, to that extent you can actually have harmony in that relationship. The chaos really starts in relationships when we think: what have you done for me today? When we have certain expectations and we want something from the other person and our expectations are not being met. So then what are you going to do? You can either get upset, or you can stop for a moment, wait a second (and think): this relationship is all about what I can give to the other person. So if I shift my consciousness and think about what I can do for the other person, rather than what can I receive from that person, then I can make a shift in that relationship. And if the person does the same, then here you go… the argument is gone. Because the argument, the chaos, the conflict only starts with ‘what have you done for me today’, ‘how can I get something that I’m not getting from you, and I’m disappointed right now’. Whether it’s an approval, whether it’s: I’m expecting more, I’m expecting more affection, I’m expecting more love from you, I’m expecting more care. I’m expecting. So if we can just let go of our expectations from what the other person will do for us. And we can just focus on the real expectations: I’m expecting myself to add greater value to this relationship. My expectations should only come from me, that I want to give. And if I do the right job, and my partner is willing to do the same, to think about not what I can get from you but I’m expecting myself to only give to the other person, then you can just think all day long: I’m just fine. I know that my partner will take care of all of my needs. And I know that I don’t need to think about myself, because all of my needs are being taken care of. And if I think the same way, all I want to do is give to my partner and my partner knows that there is somebody he can trust then there is no doubt that this relationship will be successful. And I’m not saying we are there. We are very far from – most of us – being in this type of a relationship. But if we can just take responsibility and just say to myself that my only expectation is what can I do to add greater value, more care, love, compassion to the other person, and I’m seeking ways that I can do more and go outside of my comfort zone even though it’s really hard right now to do it, and if I focus my life’s purpose to add value, not just to this relationship but to the relationships all around me, and to the people that are all around me, there is no doubt that even if there is chaos and the ego sometimes sneaks in, there is no doubt that I can bring peace and harmony to my life. Thank you. Yehuda Goldfiner
Posted on: Sun, 20 Jul 2014 11:57:52 +0000
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