My Latest Opus and first attempt at local humor. I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A RUSSIAN RIVER CITIZEN! to the tune of I Am The Very Mode of a Modern Major General from The Pirates of Penzance music and lyrics by Gilbert & Sullivan Orriginal lyrics by Tom Orr I am the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! I know who has a pickup truck and what condition it is in! I graze at Take Back Tuesdays with the ladies who may need a shave. I hit Five Dollar Fridays at the Safeway, cause I love to save! I moved here from the city and I havent left the river since! I havent heard the banjos yet, but still its like Deliverance! I skip stones on the river, cause I like to see them ripple far! I know its called the R3 now, but still I say The Triple R! Chorus: He knows its called the R3 now, but still he says The Triple R! He knows its called the R3 now, but still he says The Triple R! He knows its called the R3 now, but still twill always be The Triple R! I like to stroll through Armstrong Woods to clear my soul and clean my lungs! I do the Walk of Shame and hear my name among the wagging tongues! Hey! just because its fun it doesnt mean you must commit a sin! I am the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! Chorus: Hey! just because its fun it doesnt mean you must commit a sin! He is the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! I hop to Santa Rosa just to shop at Loews and Home Depot! For hoses for the garden and the roses and the weed we grow! I drop in at the Rainbow just to say hello and play some pool! Then soon discover dearest friends are sitting on the nearest stool! Im thrifty! Gimme fifty and youll swear I spent a million bucks! Just say gay wedding and Im heading into town to rent a tux! Whenever Im cantankerous, they take my Tanqueray away! I re-enact The Birds whenever I am in Bodega Bay! Chorus: He re-enacts The Birds whenever he is in Bodega Bay! He re-enacts The Birds whenever he is in Bodega Bay! He re-enacts The Birds as Tippi Hedren in Bodega Dega Bay! When I sing karaoke, its relentlessly competitive … And -- sorry, folks -- a little tired and endlessly repetitive! Im sitting playing Pull Tabs waiting for the day my ship comes in ... I am the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! Chorus: Hes sitting playing Pull Tabs waiting for the day his ship comes in ... He is the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! When I can differentiate twixt Awesome Dude and Hella Rad … Or curse the rain, then say Im grateful cause I know we need it bad! When I can tell you in detail exactly just what Stumptown means … Or the lechery and treachery of all the local Small Town Queens. When Bingo is my Big Night Out and I am in my finery, I hope to meet somebody nice … whose family owns a winery! Ill bide my time; Im in my prime and ready for the tourist boys! Till then, the trees and air and breezes are to me the purest joys! Chorus: Till then, the trees and air and breezes are indeed the purest joys! Till then, the trees and air and breezes are indeed the purest joys! Till then, the trees and air and breezes are indeed the purest surest joys! I go to Bucks! The food is great! The cocktails arent too watery! In fact, its so amazing, I feel like I won the lottery! Cause I prefer a diet thats more Paula Deen than Pritikin! I am the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen! Chorus: Cause he prefers a diet thats more Paula Deen than Pritikin! He is the Very Model of a Russian River Citizen!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 23:04:41 +0000
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