My Life The happy and cheerful guy you see today in fact wasnt cheerful at all in the past. He was always crying and full of tears and grief. Behind his smile even today his true face is still full of sorrow and tears and frowns. To start with my life, it’s not a happy one at all to be honest. I was born in Seoul, Korea in Feb. 6th 1990. I went to school in the U.S. when I was the age of 4 with my family and lived there for 7 ½ yrs. I have faced racial discrimination at my elementary school years. 2001 Septemeber we came back to Korea. I was 11 at the time. I went into Korean School at 5th grade 2nd sememster. I went to Korean School for 3yrs and stopped at 8th grade (2nd year of middle school) 1st semester. My school life was like hell. Almost all the guys in my classroom made fun of me, and bullied me for no reason. I don’t if it was because if I was fat or that I have come from America. I had no friends and nobody to stand up for me. Those were very miserable, sad, and hard times for me. At 6th grade the bullying didn’t stop and continued. I didn’t tell that I was being bullied to my parents or to my teachers or to anyone. I couldn’t get adjusted to the korean culture and school life. I was called names and they cursed at me for no reason. 2003 I graduated Elementary school and I went into Korean middle school. The bullying got even worse there. It was a middle school where there were only boys, no girls. There were girls, but they were all in high school. I got bullyied by several guys and there was no one to help me out. Life was so hard for me that I wanted to committee suicide and I have thought about doing it for so many times that I cannot remember how many times. One time it was almost time to start class but I went outside and sat on the garden chair of the school. I had a scissior in my hand and I put it right in front of my heart. But I couldn’t stab myself, because I was too afraid of it and I was crying and tears fell from my eyes. I was only 14-15 yrs old at the time and I have thought of ending my life. Funny isn’t it? Making my life miserable seemed like fun for them. During those hard times my only comfort was going to church and praying to God. Many times I would cry while doing my prayers to him. At 2004 I stopped going to Korean School and my brother as well who was Grade 6 at the time and I was 8th grade. We went to International School in Korea. Because of the bad experiences when I was in Korean School I set a barrier in front of me and others. There were times when my fellow koreans would ask me to play basketball with them but I refused. I was more friendly with the foreign students. It was because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I had a few friends very few. I felt alone here also like when I was in korean school. I felt like an outcast, I felt all alone. After two years here I went to another international school for 6 months and came out of there as well. I was bullyied by a group of foreigners here. 2007 Aug. I went to a high school in America for 1 ½ years. I wasn’t happy here either. I was bullyied by my fellow koreans and also americans. I told them my deepest secrets and they told it to the authorities there. It seemed that they wanted me out of the school. They watched and spied on me always and I felt like that I was in prision. Even some of the authorities there weren’t very nice to me. And eventually they got their wish. 2008 Dec. I stopped going to that school and I came back to Korea for good. The school was a christian school but very strict towards it’s students and give harsh punishments if you disobeyed the rules. I didn’t like the school because of it’s systems. This is the time when I have made my decision that I will not be 100% honest about myself and that I will not share my secrets to anybody. For 2 long years I just wasted my time doing nothing. From 2008-2010. Not going to school and not working as well. Those years were very hard for me because I didn’t know what to do at all. I was wandering around and I was totally lost. My parents were worried about me and so did my family. Especially my mother was. She would try to say something to me but my father would say to her give me time. Those hard years I could stand thanks to God, but also my father. To me, my father is just more than a father to me. My father is my friend, my mentor, my teacher, my working partner, my comforter, my cheerleader, my father is always on my side. Truly to say there was not a moment that I was happy going to school for all those years. I felt like that I didn’t belong to school and I had no friends. I was always alone, a outcast, and I was always not happy. My life was just full of grief, saddness, and tears and no laughter. I have been always bullyied and no one cared for me and they enjoyed making my life miserable. I was always their play toy and someone to be picked on and be made fun of. I didn’t finish high school. I was never a leader, because I didn’t have the courage or ability to become one. Being a leader didn’t suite me at all. Aug. 3rd 2010 – May 14th, 2012 I was in the army. I took the qualification exam for graduation of middle school, and high school (GED). I passed both and I came to the Philippines on May 31st 2012. I applied for UE first but they didn’t accept my GED and told me to bring my high school records which I didn’t have. I came to FEU and they said yes. I took the entrance exam and I passed. My life here at FEU in the Philippines is the happiest that I have ever experienced in my life and also school life. At here I felt truly welcomed, cared by, loved, and I feel home here. All the guys here are so kind and good to me. I thank God for sending me to the Philippines to do my College life. I don’t regret coming to the Philippines, I truly thank God for sending me here to be with you guys and you guys as my friends. I have always been a loser of my life. I lack confidence and I am not brave. But I will not live as a loser anymore. I will become a winner of my life, gain confidence, be brave, and become a leader. I have lived in the shadows way too long. It is time for me to forget my dark and sad past and move on to a brighter and better future. Do I truly forgive those who had made my life miserable and caused so much pain? No, I don’t truly forgive them all, but I am trying to forgive them and forget what they have done to me. I want to be someone that can help others and give them joy and happiness. I will take one step at a time to become a successful and better person and prove those people wrong that said to me that I am a nobody or that I can’t be anyone great. I really want to forget my past and open my mind to you guys. But it’s so hard to open. I fear that I will be hurt again and be used by other people. It will take me time to really open myself fully to others. God is the only reason that I am still alive. Thank you God for sending me such good friends and people. I can tell that you truly love and care for me. Thank you for listening guys God Bless you all
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 02:35:34 +0000
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