My Traumatic Birth to Delivering Babies ~ by Cheryl Moore LM It didnt start like my other pregnancies which were all easy. My first trimester I spent in the hospital with severe gallbladder attacks. At 13 weeks pregnant I had my gallbladder removed. Now entering my second trimester I was starting to feel better and just starting to show. The little baby bump hiding under my shirt never really made me look pregnant but there was definitely a little baby in there causing momma all kinds of problems. At 24 weeks I had a mysterious illness that struck me so hard that I started going into liver failure and they considered sending me to Bayfront for an emergency cesarean. They originally thought toxemia/preeclampsia but within 24/48 hours my liver enzymes were slowly going back to normal. They diagnosed it as a possible gallstone stuck in my bile duct. Yay finally third trimester I should start feeling better now right? At 29 weeks I started having preterm labor and spent 5 weeks in and out of the hospital and on many medications such as Terbutaline and Magnesium Sulfate. (Used to stop contractions) My doctor decided that after 34 weeks if I went into labor again that he would deliver me. So the second labor started on Thanksgiving Day at 34 weeks I stepped away from the turkey and went straight to the hospital. Of coarse my doctor wasnt on call. A doctor from another practice that knew nothing about me was responsible for my life and my precious unborn baby. I was not greeted with compassion or respect. I was yelled at for moving around in bed because they could not monitor the baby and then they came in and declared that I was not in labor because the monitor was not picking up any contractions and upon initial vaginal exam I was not dilated. After assuring them that after having two babies I knew what contractions felt like; they decided to admit me for observation because I had a fever and my pulse was abnormally high. (Which is a symptom of infection) Even though they stated I was not contracting or dilating they offered me Terbulatine; which I refused because of the heart palpitations it gave me earlier in the pregnancy. (My heart rate was already abnormally elevated too remember) The nursing staff were completely rude to me and made comments that I was just an uncomfortable pregnant woman that just wanted her baby out. They also talked about how my baby may be air lifted to another hospital and may die if born this early. They spoke about me in front of me as if I wasnt there and when I started standing up for myself they turned my husband against me by telling him all the risk associated with having a preterm baby and trying to get him to talk me into the Terbutaline. But remember they declared that I wasnt in labor!!! These nurses also knew nothing about me and what I had been through this pregnancy. I was scared and now I was alone! My husband kept repeating everything that the nurses were saying and got so upset with me for advocating for myself that he refused to even hold my hand as I laid in the hospital bed contracting. Honestly I think this was the loneliest moment of my life. I knew all the risk that were involved in having a preterm baby but I also knew that my body was telling me enough is enough. Shifts changed and I remained in observation over night continuing to have contractions that were not recorded on the monitor. The pain of being strapped to a bed with contractions eventually became overwhelming and I asked for an epidural. The nurse smirked at me and replied your not even in labor you cant have an epidural. It had been several hours since I had been admitted and I had not had a vaginal exam since I arrived. I did the best I could to work through the contractions by breathing and shifting in bed what little bit I could. Morning comes and my doctor finally goes on call. He comes in to perform a surgical procedure on another patient when he sees my name on the board. He immediately comes in to examine me (the first vaginal exam since I was admitted the night before) and he not only finds me dilated to 5cm but the baby had turned breech in the middle of the night and my bag of water was bulging through my cervix. He explained the risk of cord prolapse and breech delivery but did not give me the option of delivering vaginally. I was quickly rushed in for a emergency cesarean. Taylor Lynn was born into a cold sterile environment weighing 4lbs 13oz but she was pink and screaming her head off. They decided to keep her in the nursery for 24 hours for observation. I was still met with the same cold hearts that made comments that I should have let them stop my labor and I wouldnt had ended up with a cesarean. They also attempted to tell me that I couldnt go see my baby. I honestly felt at this point that they just had it out for me. This was suppose to be a joyous occasion and I was met with coldness and disrespect. After 24 hours I just couldnt handle it anymore and I checked myself out AMA (against medical advice). At first I couldnt understand why mothering this tiny little baby felt so different from my other two children. She had been very much wanted and had become our miracle baby after everything I went through in my pregnancy. At my 2 week appointment I finally got the nerve up to share my story of what happened with my doctor. I expressed how I felt I was treated by the other doctor, the nurses, and about having a cesarean. Also how I was suddenly having a hard time being a mom. He diagnosed me not only with postpartum depression but with PTSD post traumatic stress disorder. He wrote me a script for zoloft and sent me on my way. After months of trying to deal with it on my own I realized that every time I told my birth story that I healed just a little. Suddenly I had to tell everyone. Not to scare them... but to heal. I became a childbirth educator and Doula and I not only educated women but I taught them how to advocate for themselves. About 2 years after starting my own Doula practice a patient proclaimed YOU SHOULD BE A MIDWIFE. Wow I hadnt even thought of that. Off to midwifery school I went. So there you go the story of not only how I healed after my traumatic pregnancy and birth but how I grew into the midwife I am today. The midwife that sits down on the bed with you and discusses YOUR options and helps YOU make decisions about your prenatal care, labor and delivery. The midwife that wants you to feel loved, and cared for during your pregnancy and delivery. The midwife that treats your entire family like she would hers. I truly love my job and looking back I wouldnt change anything that happened to me... its what molded me into what I am today!
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 04:49:53 +0000
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