My baby needs me. Hes weed on me, spit up on my face, pooped on my clothes. Hes screamed in my face, scratched my neck, head butted my nose, kicked my ribs. Hes ruined my body, put my work on hold, my house is a mess. I no longer bathe alone, I shower in 2 minutes, my clothes have dribble and snot on them. My hair is unwashed, no make up on, my legs unwaxed. Did I brush my teeth this morning? My circle of friends have changed, my Friday nights are spent falling asleep on the sofa. I fall asleep before dinner, then eat cold dinner for breakfast. I microwave a cup of coffee 3 times and still dont finish it. It takes an hour to leave the house, my bank account is empty, my mind is fuzzy, my body exhausted. My days are spent feeding, cleaning, washing and wiping. But at 2.45am, trying to soothe his cries and wipe his tears, in the dark, looking out of the window at the stars, feeling like the only person awake in the world, I realise that my baby needs me, and only me. He needs me, his mummy, and he can continue to need me for the rest of his life, I will never let him down and he will never be alone, because I need him too. I have never been needed, or needed someone else so much. My life has changed, but with every sigh and every tear, it gets better and better, and I wouldnt change it for the world.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 09:00:50 +0000
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