My birthday is over, another one in the books. When I was young I wanted to be 13 so I could be a teen. And then 18 so I could be a man, and 21 so I could drink, smoke and party and no one could tell me what to do. Well I never drank smoked or partied and I am always answering to someone. After 21 I think the next sorta big number is 40, but it is not to bad. After 21 for me the big number was 50....In 2004 my brother Ronnie died at 55. What? 55? It had not entered my mind that I could somehow die in my 50s. We both lived long enough to see mom and dad pass, dad at 70 and mom at 71. They both had longer lives than Ronnie. In 2004 my magic number changed to 55. 50 was nothing for me, I do not care about 50 or 51. I do know that if Ronnie knew when he turned 51 he only had 4 years left he would have lived them to the fullest. Now I am 51 and I lived those for me. These next four years I am going to try to live to the fullest so if my time is up between now and 55, I will know they were not wasted years like the last 10 years of my life have been. I am at a crossroads right now sort of teetering on the edge. Things could go either way for me and in the past I would sit there and see what happens. I think I have decided to take an active part in my own life. I have lived my life like a pebble at the bottom of a glacier. Only moved along when the weight of life makes me move, fine just, to be. My brother Ronnie was a kuhndog too. He was a smartass, funny, friendly and got along with almost everyone. And usually when he was around people were always being entertained. I think he and I are a lot alike in many ways. 55 bothers me, I will not lie. Now if I can get out of my own way long enough to turn this thing around the next four years will be great. And when I get to 55 I may have a beer for Ronnie and some pork chops for me. If I make to to 70 (Dad) I may take a shot of Vodka for dad and pork chops for me and if I make it to 71 (Momma) I will probably just cry all day, after I eat my pork chops...
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 05:00:12 +0000
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