My brother, the only human Phoenix Ive ever met, died the most peaceful death that I have witnessed. I was at the death bed of my mother, father, and a dear friend so I know full well the haunting sensory overload that is possible and Billy died with simple, pure Grace. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, your prayers and positive thoughts were made manifest. Thank you from the depths of my being for your support. I read and re-read the notes that have been sent to me. They made a difference. I can count on more than two hands the number of times Billy was at deaths door and did not pass from most notably being admitted as a John Doe to intensive care and on life support for over three weeks after being hit by a train and another time when he came to live with me arriving so sick that I immediately took him to the E.R. at which time he promptly crashed with multiple organ failure, pneumonia and was septic. He rarely entered a hospital without being admitted to I.C.U. He kept the contract he insisted on forming with me after we lost our two younger brothers to tragic untimely deaths. I was walking down the long concourse of the airport to attend our brother Davids funeral, observing Billy standing in an odd position at the end with his arm outstretched only to realize when I was close enough that he had tears in his eyes and his arm was outstretched to shake my hand - repeating the words....we will do everything in our power to be here for as long as we possibly can. we will not leave each other....and of course I repeated the words out loud to him with tears in my eyes. He kept that promise....Im laughing right now because of the way he kept that promise - it was so bloody challenging as he came as close to the borderline between life and death so many times that it was horrifying and repeatedly miraculous. Our relationship challenged me more than once to practice loving unconditionally as were both stubborn and like oil and water as different as night and day and yet just as intimately connected as the sun and the moon. Although my mind and heart are in pieces as I cannot fully comprehend that he has really truly actually died, I know that I will come back together. The experience of loving Billy has made me someone of medal with a bigger heart than I would have had of my own making. I would have chosen to be lazy and comfortable. Farewell my dear brother Billy, I will be counting on seeing you again.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 18:32:36 +0000
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