My comments from Moms funeral today. Thanks to my brother Jim for helping me put these words together. Hi everyone, I am Larry Lazar, Shirley and Ed’s 3rd child. I am honored to be representing my father, Ed, my older brothers, Ed and Jim, my younger sister, Cathy, and other members of the family to share some thoughts and stories about my mom. My mother began her life in the sticks outside of Baldwin with little in material possessions. She did, however, have a good mind and a strong family. Her father, Thomas, mother Mary, and 3 brothers, Bob, Rich and especially her little brother Tom, were so important in setting her on the path she would follow the rest of her life. The years went by for mom and with hard work and good decisions she built a fine life for herself and her own family. Perhaps the best decision was marrying the tall, strong and handsome man from Harrietta over 58 years ago. I know I’m thankful for her decision and I suspect many others here are as well. Shirley didnt have as much choice in us children that came along but I can truly say she did the best she could with what she was given. As far as I can tell, we seem to have turned out okay, well, for the most part anyways. As she moved through her life her family grew and spread around the country. To help fill that gap she made friends at church, at work and through her many other activities, including the Telephone Pioneers, the Chase Township election board, St. Philip Altar society, the funeral luncheon committee and more. Btw, I heard there is an opening on the funeral luncheon committee for anyone interested. Mom’s lifelong hobby, when she wasn’t taking care of someone or volunteering for something, was knitting and crocheting. She would sit in her chair for hours working on an afghan or a scarf to give to someone who she thought could use it. She enjoyed weaving the strands of yarn together to make something strong, warm, useful and beautiful. She did the same thing in life with her friends and family. For her there was no distinction between them. Her friends were her family. Her family were her friends. Mom strove to weave their lives together and make their connections to each other stronger. She wanted their lives to be fuller, happier and healthier. As we look around today we can see how successful she was. The stroke that took my mother’s life was a tough one, and even though she passed in comfort and peace, her time in hospice was not easy. Despite her difficult situation she never lost her wit and her charm. I remember visiting her the Friday after Thanksgiving. I told her that I made Dad a spaghetti dinner for his Thanksgiving meal. As soon as I said this Mom opened her eyes wide and shook her head back and forth so hard I was afraid that she might have another stroke! I’m not sure it was the thought of me cooking for dad or that we were having spaghetti for Thanksgiving that was so upsetting! But then she gave me that sly little smile as only mom can do and I knew she was happy. We thought she would leave us much sooner than she did as we knew she didnt like the condition she was in. Yet she stayed with us beyond what anyone thought was possible. Every day during hospice we told ourselves “it won’t be long now”. After a few days we quit saying that. Her departure time was up to her, not us. We weren’t sure why she was holding out so long. Perhaps she was ready to go earlier but then she heard that my Uncle Steve, Dad’s last remaining sibling out of 9, had passed away on Thanksgiving Day in Cadillac. Maybe the thought of Dad and us kids having to go to two funerals on the same day forced her to bear her burden a little longer. Maybe it was because she wanted to give her family and friends more time to together in visits, phone calls, emails, and prayers, to exchange stories and to share tears, while strengthening those connections she had worked so hard to build. Maybe she just didnt want to leave Ed before she had to. Shirley touched all of us with her time, her mind and her love, the only things that she could truly control, and she made our lives so much better because of that loving touch. My mother was one of those rare people who had the gift, and the burden, of knowing what truly matters in life – and what does not. She knew that we only have so much time and effort available to give. It’s so easy to spend that time and effort on those things that don’t really matter – and we all know what those things are. Mom chose the hard work, she made the effort, of focusing on what matters. Us, all of us. Thank you Mom, for leading the way. Now, it is up to us to follow your wonderful example. We love you Mom. Shirley Kalaher Lazar
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:39:42 +0000
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