My dad and I have been sitting outside talking about God and peace that passes understanding. The past three years of my life, to be honest, have been a nightmare. One bizarre occurrence after another. Or, in other terms, my luck has been extremely poor. A wise person once told me to replay the tape. This means to take a situation back to the beginning, play it through, try and take some understanding from it, and accept your part if you have a part. I have done this a thousand times with many situations that have happened over the past years. One being my divorce. I have replayed the tape, accepted my part, and have no ill will over the situation. A few other big bizarre situations in my life, I have also looked over. Some of which I dont have a part to accept, but I have found forgiveness and no longer have ill will. About these, I have a peace that passes understanding. So much so, I sometimes feel guilt for having so much peace. I can only attribute this peace to God. I know I have to understand the situations, actions, and outcome, and I have made peace with all of it. My dad and I also discussed another situation. Right now, I am mad. I told him I hold no ill will towards anyone in my life. The reason I can be mad at someone and hold no ill will, is I know there will be a resolve. I overreacted to a situation the other day due to desperation. It was wrong of me to overreact, that is my part. However, at the moment I am having problems understanding other aspects of the situation. I know the emotions I had leading up to the situation were real and raw and rational, I know my reaction to the one situation itself was irrational. I let my feelings on many other situations flood my emotions on one instance. I should have myself in check, even when I feel Im breaking. I accept that. I know that despite my anger now I hold no ill will. In some way or another I love all that have entered my life, even when it is upside down, and I know that little daily issues will resolve one way or another. Even if that means in a way I do not necessarily like. God has given me overall peace and for that I am grateful. I know that being angry for a moment will not destroy that, and that all human emotions are just a usual part of what makes us human. I pray that we all may find the peace. Amen.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 16:43:17 +0000
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