My dad and I looked for a longtime for 10 jokes with dogs inthem. Enjoy! #1 Mrs Green’s Dog & her neighbor Mrs Green was walking to the post office when her neighborcame up to her and said "HelloJanis, How’s your dog? I saw her yesterday chasing an old man on a bike." "Oh" said Mrs Green "That could NOT have been my dog" "Oh, why not?" replied her neighbor "I’m pretty sure it was her" "Well" stated Mrs. Green smiling "my dog doesn’t ride a bike" #2 Seeing Eye Dog A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash. The store manager behind thecustomer service counter looks up, notices the customeris blind, and quickly looks away again. Out of the corner of his eye hesees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash. S hocked, the manager runs over and says, "Mister, is therea problem – is there something I can help you with?" The blind man calmly replies, "No thanks – I’m just looking around." #3 – Q: What do dogs call frozen poop? A: Poopsicles #4 Help Wanted A local business was looking for office help. They put a signin the window, that read: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with acomputer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dogtrotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can’t hireyou. The sign says you have tobe able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gaveit to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told thedog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database andpresented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However,I *still* can’t give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign andput his paw on the sentences that told about being an EqualOpportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you haveto be bilingual." The dog looked at him straight in the face and said,"Meow." #5 Two Scottish nuns Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat andone says to the other, "I hear that the people in this countryactually eat dogs." "That’s odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excitedly, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their ‘dogs’. The mother superior begins toblush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part… did you get…?" #6 – Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has? A: Puppy dogs. #7 Clever Dachshund A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I’min deep trouble now!" Then henoticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard haltshis attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him,and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard."That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Heremonkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen tothat conniving canine."
Posted on: Thu, 01 Aug 2013 16:35:45 +0000
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