My dad was very happy, when I showed him the letter of intend from the leading publishing company in India, having agreed to publish my book. He was praising me the whole day, and of course I love seeing Appa happy and giving me his undivided attention. His first reaction was Nee Appante Manikyamanu which means you are my diamond. Reminded me of a scene from the Malayalam movie Amaram where Mammoottys daughter gets first class and he is overwhelmingly happy and says Molu Appante Muthaanu After sometime, he was telling me that the secret of success is Positive people in our life. How they spread energies around and thereby inspire us to do greater things. He said, I should choose to be in company of people who helps me grow as a person. After Dad left, I was thinking to myself. He is right, we do need positive people in our life but sometimes, it is negative people who gives us the start. I know both positivity and negativity are just perceptions. If you ask me to define it, I would simply say, People who make others happy, helps them grow, give them space to be themselves, these are Positive people and People who but down others, destroy their self esteem and thinks they are always right and people who doesnt agree with them are wrong, are the Negative people. Just few months back, I was really bored with my Facebook and other social networking sites. I had deactivated it and started reading and doing other productive jobs. My elder sister, who has her own perception of living life started asking me why was I not on social networking sites anymore. I honestly told her the reason, but somehow she wanted an answer that she had already perceived in her mind. That I am depressed. I kept telling her that it is simply because I was bored of Facebook that I have deactivated it and there is no other reason. All of a sudden, from everyone around, I am hearing the same story. Few of my sisters and my mutual friends started asking me about it. Your sister said you are depressed is all what I could hear from everyone around me. I kept ignoring. One day, dad with subtle hints told me that my sister thinks I am depressed and should see a psychiatrist. I tried explaining my Dad, that I am building my career and also using my time productively and hence the change in me, and Didi tells that way simply because I dont like to live the way she expects me to live. Dad, can be easily manipulated and even at twelve noon if Didi tells dad its midnight, he will believe it so I realized there is no use trying to explain him. That evening was the first time in years, that I felt actually depressed. I felt like shouting at my dad and sister for possibly ruining my comfortable and productive life. I was even thinking to go back to Chennai and work for someone. That night, I was talking to a friend and she told me Sreya, dont feel bad. Do not shout at them, in the current circumstances, and the perspective, your shout will be considered as violence and this is not a good idea, especially when they are almost trying to say, you are insane.Trust is calm and collected. Insecurities are noisy and annoying. Since you are staying in the same house, why dont you do something, that is productive but still would pacify them. But do it in such a way that, they should wonder why did we ever go and disturb her, she was better the old way. After she kept the phone, I slept off. Sometimes we have so much to say that we remain speechless. The next day morning, I started a Facebook account, started writing. My Facebook page was an instant hit. Thank you to all the wonderful people who spare time to read, like and comment on it. Each one of you is my inspiration. I know you might even forget what I have written after sometime but for me, every single time I look at it, it makes me so happy. Me and my sister never added each other on Facebook. I would definitely have added her, if she send a request. I knew she reads my status messages every now and then as by mistake I get friends request from her, thanks to touch screens in mobiles As I take it to accept it, there wouldnt be a notification. When it happened the second time, and there was no request, I thought will just send her a request, after all I am the little one. As I searched for her, I got to know, she has blocked me now. I felt bad initially, but then I thought, if she is not feeling so happy reading my status messages and seeing my achievements, it is good that she blocked me. But I am happy now that atleast the whatsup groups wont have a discussion on Sreyas depression anymore. I know there is a very thin line between arrogance and confidence and humbly trying not to cross it. It is purely confidence. Writing helps me vent better, and I prefer doing it. I have the option to write what makes others happy, to impress others or I can write to vent my emotion, to express. As they say, if you write for others, you will have friends and if you write for yourselves, you will have followers. Sreya Vaidyan is a normal girl, with normal thoughts, who likes to live life in my small small happiness. You might hear a lot of good and bad things about me, it might be true. I treat people as they treat me. As they say, It is the same Sun, that melts the ice and harden the clay. - Sreya Vaidyan
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 09:46:02 +0000
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