My daughter starts kindergarten on Thursday. Real school. Its so scary. And the hardest thing Ive learned from having a child is the fact that I will never feel emotionally comfortable or safe ever again. Its a difficult thing for someone like me to deal with. Ive taken great steps to build my walls and polish my armor. There have been people that Ive loved and still dropped cold, without hesitation, to protect myself. Friends, family, it didnt matter. And I feel like I can do the same thing now to most of the people in my life. Im very good at emotional compartmentalization. But having a child is like showing my greatest weakness to the world. Its like opening up my shirt and volunteering to let every person in the world hold a knife to my heart, 24/7. Its a debilitating fear, but at the same time Im more than willing to do it. Because I have never been more happy in my life. Ive never loved someone so much. And its embarrassing that I ever thought I knew what love was before she was born. Its like being deaf and still thinking you know what music sounds like. But with this love comes a deep, aggressive intent to protect it. So for all you little boys out there, and all you parents of little boys out there, know this: I will absolutely not hesitate to drop kick any of you in the face at the blink of an eye. I will judo chop your kid in the neck!
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 16:06:37 +0000
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