My feet have been a size 11 since the 8th grade. No kidding. I kinda had to grow into these babies only Id need to be like eleventy feet tall to get the proportions just right. For the record, I was also this height by the 9th grade. Not a giant at just 59, but towering over nearly all the boys who wouldnt hit their growth spurts until a year later at least. My old friends may not remember me as tall. I had so many other socially awkward things going for me back then, that my height might not be one they recall. I just know that I was thankful the day that new, REALLY tall girl moved to town and became the back center of all class pictures. When I met my mister, we were floating down a river and I didnt know he was all of 56 on his tippiest toes . And, bless his heart, hes taller than both his mama and his daddy. I come from big, hearty folks while hes the result of some wee, tiny people. College Girl is tiny like his side of the family. She was super excited when she cleared five feet recently. Middle-Little is growing taller all the time (taller than College Girl already) and the little-Little will take after her mamas side for sure. But I digress. I have big ass feet and wear big ass shoes. This works for me because I find my size on clearance racks lots. Aint hardly anybody wearin that size besides me, drag queens, and the WNBA. I lean toward flashy styles. Recently, I picked up a couple of pairs of knock off Toms in red and cheetah print. Look. I figure, youre gonna notice theyre boats one way or another, I might as well dress em up, right? Still, the fact that I wear the same size shoe as my husband has always made me feel like a damn Amazon, but not in a cool Wonder Woman way. More like a woman with gigantor feet way. So, this mornin, Im runnin around, lookin for those new red faux Toms because Im wearin a Little Mermaid t-shirt and red bandana with a teal jacket and of course those shoes would be perfect, but I cant find them ANYWHERE. Im startin to get pissed about this when I go back into the family room where my mister has just come back in from walkin the dogs and do you know what that jerkface did? He wore my brand new shoes out in that wet yard to walk those shitass dogs! Youd think hed have the good grace to be apologetic or at least a little embarrassed, standin there in his bathrobe and my red shoes, but that man of mine, he just looks me right in the face and he says to me, You lookin for these, Bigfoot?
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 02:15:37 +0000
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