My first relationship was when I was 12 years old. The guy was 13 years older than me but I didnt care! I was in love for all I cared! Sadly, this crush, infatuation or love I felt lasted only six weeks. This is why we broke up >>> After one week of the relationship, my boyfriend summoned up to courage to ask for a kiss. I wanted it special but I had no experience so I turned him down and told him it was going happen next time. I kept on using the next time excuse for the next 3weeks. One particular day, he couldnt stand it anymore so he told me to leave his house and come back ONLY when I am ready to kiss. I didnt want to lose my one & only true love so I went on a 3weeks course on How To Kiss. I became fascinated with the word kissing. Back then, there were no cell phones, BIS and all, meaning I had no access to google, ehow, wikihow or youtube to teach me how to kiss so I had to improvise. I grabbed my mill&booms and I found myself reading any particular page that had the word kiss in it as much as five times. I also had to resort to newspapers. I would read a five page article on politics and what was going on in Aso Rock as long as it has the word kiss in the publication. If the newscaster on NTA network mentioned kiss, I listened to news all day. Finally, I resorted to creeping at night to the living room to rewind the kissing scenes of the movies my siblings and I watched earlier during the day. Afterwards. I will spend the rest of the night kissing my palms since I had no close friend to rehearse with. This lasted three weeks. There was this particular movie I saw where the kissing scene lasted 3 minutes. It was so intense. I can swear they did the French kiss stuff and added a touch of Spanish kiss. Brother, sister, I had finally arrived! After rewinding that scene for more than ten times. I felt I was ready and I made up my mind to visit my boyfriend the next day and show him SHEGE! Dont forget there was nothing like GSM so all we did back then was surprise visits at your own risks. Next day, I brushed 3times that morning and went on a water diet to keep my mouth fresh. As soon as I got into his house, I had to remind myself NaijaSingleGirl, you aint leaving this place until you french- kiss the hell out of that nigga kosi wahala I responded to myself and arranged my invisible collar. Boyfriend1 hugged me and leaded me to the couch. How are you? He asked excitedly Before I could respond, I noticed big patches of egwu leaves (vegetable) on his teeth and his palm oil coloured tongue. Why do bad things happen to good people? He had to choose that special day to eat soup of all things and his mouth smelt liked parboiled goat meat. I couldnt back out now after three weeks of practice. I had to put my nose and eyes in stealth mood because I was there on a mission! I rolled my eyes. I wanna to kiss you I said with my British accent I used only on special occasions. Boyfriend1 was excited immediately he heard those words. He brought his vegetable soup lips to my fluoride mouth and then just like I saw in the movies (or I think I saw in the movies), I held his head then I used my teeth to grab his tongue. That was when I heard JESUSSSS CHRIST! My tongue o! Do you want to kill me!! Im sorry I found myself talking inside his mouth while my voice echoed from his ears. He wore a bull dog frown while he pushed me aside. I got up, opened the door and fled in embarrassment. He didnt make any attempt to contact me after that. Remember there were no BBM to chat things over, neither dis I have a cell phone to explain myself so I had to let him go. That was the end of my first relationship...
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 08:02:30 +0000
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