My goal last night was to play my song for at *least* five people and get used to the idea of performing live. Instead, I ended up playing for CROWDS. I sang for a homeless man. I sang for couples holding hands. I sang while dancing down the street. A shop owner clutched his chest and gasped, Oh, no. No, no. Youre melting my heart. (And then he gave me a huge discount). I sang for Lyft drivers who told me they wanted to shoot a music video of me. My favorite reaction was when a handsome man dropped to his knees and told me, Baby, I am in *love* with you. Tell me your name! But after a drink or two at a few different bars, I was feeling a little suffocated. I went outside to park against a wall and catch my breath. The cold air felt good. But I wasnt alone. Is that a ukulele? Someone asked. When I looked up, this tall boy in a nice blazer was standing a few feet away, lighting up a cigarette. Yes, I replied. Can I play for you? He smiled. You wanna play for *me*? Yeah. If youll let me. A hopeful smile. Please. He said, smiling and drifting closer to me. Okay, but the number one rule before I start is: You cant make fun of me. He grinned at me and started laughing. No, you have to promise, I said, shoving my pinky towards him. With a smile, he hooked his pinky in mine. We shook on it. And he grew quiet, gesturing for me to begin. I was nervous. I took a deep breath. And played. And while I played, I watched the smile on his face grow. It made me play better. Sweeter. I wanted to earn that smile. Soon, he whispered, Oh my god, and dropped against the wall beside me, crashing to the seat of his nice slacks and closing his eyes to listen. -- But darling, I know youve been hurt Before But I swear that Im not like those oo-oo-ther (Wh*res) -- Laughing, he threw is head back against the wall and blew his cigarette smoke into the sky, tapping his foot to the music. And when I had finally finished, I clutched my ukulele close and smiled nervously. He turned to me, put his hand on my arm and said, Baby, I know youre gonna think this is a line, but I have to tell you, you are the sweetest, most *bangin* woman with the most pretty little voice I have ever heard in my life. I laughed self-consciously at that, bowing my head, whispering thank you. That is the most amazing song I have ever heard. Please, he continued, tell me why youre out here playing all alone. I sucked in a breath and said, I actually wrote it last night for this boy I really love.. But he dumped me today. So Im trying to ... Yknow. Play this for people and make them smile, cuz it just makes me sad. And then I cried a little. Just a little. Because it hurt like f*ck to say out loud. And I strummed the melody to my song while I cried. I just needed to keep my hands busy. Thats all. You are way too pretty and vulnerable to be playing that song out here all alone, he said, pain in his eyes. That guy is a f*cking moron. *Please* let me be NEXT! I smiled at him through watery eyes, dabbing at them with the edges of my fingers. He was actually really sweet most of the time. We just werent a good match. Thats all. I took in a deep, shaky breath, and smiled, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Is my makeup all f*cked up now? I asked. You are *beautiful*. I cant believe youre talking to me. That made me laugh. Because he was so cute too, yknow? I was thinking the same thing. But I didnt say that. That wouldnt have been cool. Is this for real right now? A group of night-goers are walking slowly past, pointing at me. Are you going to play for us?! One of the girls in the group screamed. I laughed and said quietly, Okay. If youd like me to. Please play for us! People were gathering around now. My first big audience. The boy next to me was suddenly my on-the-spot agent, saying things like, This is the *dopest* song you will *ever* hear in your life. You are about to have your minds blown. And, Youre about to fall in love with this girl. This girls going to Hollywood. I shook my head through the compliments, politely shushing him, asking my audience (ha! My audience!) if they were ready. Yeah! They cried simultaneously. Okay, I said. But the number one rule before I start is ... You *cant* make fun of me. Deep breath. Play. And so it went all night.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 16:32:27 +0000
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