My husband of 14 years wants a divorce and has rushed me into going into mediation with him. We have a teenage son. Over the years we have had many small fights about his mother. She lives with us (since the day we got married). Her husband passed away before our marriage. She has a strong, domineering personality and wants to be in control. She has fueled many fights between my husband and I because she wants to have her ways and be called the Head of Household. The idea is that I moved in the family that has her husbands last name, and therefore I found her here. So, she is first, and I am at the bottom of the list. I am not the type of person who initiates a fight. I mind my own business and dont talk much. But if you interfere with my life in an unfair way than I do get upset, but I have never raised my voice to her. Its just that somehow my husband and I cant get away from arguing with each other. He makes comments that I know are not coming from him, as he doesnt care about household things, for isntance. But, I feel he hears a lot of negative press about me, and is not happy. His mother makes sure, in her own round and about way to show/tell him how a wife is supposed to behave. We are both professionals and have worked very hard to build a good life, which is mostly enjoyed by my mother in law who has all the time in the world to enjoy what she wants, while both of us work. Of course, our son is very happy with what we have created, but betwen mother in law, and us as couple, she is the one who is enjoying the benefits of our hard work. And yet, she plays the victim to my husband. I think he cant handle the pressure from her and feels she is suffering deeply because of me. My husband has found divorce as the solution, but does not admit it is because of his familys influences. I am an independent type of person and am very efficient in doing things my way without needing any advise for that matter from MIL or SIL. Yet, I have never heard a nice and encouraging word from his family. Can anyone in the world shake up my husband to wake up and smell the coffe and realize that while we must take care of our parents, we should not allow them to mess up our life, and most importantly our sons who will suffer the consequences of divorce more than anyone of us. I know we can save the marriage if we focus on our family and have no other external negative influences, but it seems like Im beating a dead horse. We were madly in love when we got married and I still love my husband, while hate the negative influence his family has had in our lives. He has grown out of love because of all the above. Can any marriage survive this situation? How? Sent By Fan
Posted on: Fri, 20 Jun 2014 10:26:52 +0000
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