My life: 101. (For those who are curious about what a typical day might be like for me. (If not, just keep going, and dont read.) LOL. I post things from time to time (ok, almost every day) on Twitter and/or Facebook. However, most of the time when I get on fb or Twitter, its when my babys asleep, and Im done working. Literally, thats my ONLY free time. I dont go out to the movies or ANYTHING social. I go into town once or twice a week, to do shopping. (We basically live out in the middle of the woods.*) Im a single parent, working from home (sometimes, working in the middle of the night because its the only free chance I got in the day, to work, because my baby was commanding the rest of my time during the day, every day... No days off.) I just wish it were true that I had a lot of free time (or even a little free time) to do something for myself. Right now, its Saturdays, when my parents take the baby for the day, and even then, I work.. catching up on all the orders I couldnt do during the week. I get on here a little bit during the day, because its the only little vestiges of time I have where I feel like I can take my head out of the sand from working, and try to connect socially, somehow, so I dont shrivel into a mad mess. I didnt choose where Im at right now. But Im doing the best with the shitty circumstances life threw at me. Anyway, this was all spurned when I mistakenly thought someone was chiding me for having too much time on my hands (to post here and elsewhere). Ive since cleared up the misunderstanding with the person, however, it got me thinking, and I dont want anyone mistakenly thinking Ive got free time (too much free time, where I can just troll facebook and twitter, and that somehow thats ALL I do. I got a free moment, while my baby sits in her highchair, to explain the miracle of her, as her father was not supposed to (medically) be able to have children, but he did! (We did!) Now, hes in the middle of the country, dying, and Im here, in Oregon, *living with my grandparents, attempting to work for myself, as HARD as I can, so I can get back there, because I ALSO have a 14 year old daughter, whose life Id really like to be able to be in. So, to clear up any mystery in ANYONES mind: ANY free time I get MUST be spent productively, because theres that little reminder in the back of my mind that any time I spend on myself, is time Im taking away from being able to be around my other daughter, and time that my baby can spend with her dad, of whom Im not sure how much longer hell be on this Earth. (And so every free moment, I should be working toward that goal, because Ive got No time to waste.) Just under 2 years ago, I was working 2 jobs. And now Im here, because I had to stop working, so I could take care of our baby, because no one else could. Now, Ive got to be able to be 2 places at once, and everything for everyone (close to me). So, this mamas working hard, to see that I can be there for my babies, without making them have to choose between their fathers or me. (That = equals being able to be mobile, to go back and forth (yes, Im even looking into getting an RV for this purpose!) LOL. (At this juncture in my life, it makes sense, whereas it might not make sense in any other circumstance. (And it would be temporary (want to settle in the near future), however, I was just thinking this might be a good option if ya wanna be two places at once...) So, thats my life! I just want to color a little 101, for those who might be curious. Oh! And I recently wrote a song! Its about being there during the hard times. I wrote it for Nykkis daddy, but it also stands for so much more. (Im posting it as a link in a comment below this, otherwise, it dominates the post, and people click on that, instead of the read more option. Thank you for reading.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 17:07:01 +0000
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