My life Ive been hurt so many times but I never been this hurt besides the time my sister said I dont love you or when me and my mom scrap. I never thought that when people open up to me I always push them away and they never talk to me. When I found out today ****** dosent like me I tried to hold my tears back. I smile behind my pain,cry behind closed doors. I sometimes wish I wasnt born. Sometimes I wish I could just disappeare into thin air. I cry behind peoples back. I like ******so much but I feel like I am nothing to him but I dont know if he feel the same way. He love two other girls but looks like Im the third wheel again. If he loves two other girls maybe I should not be alive then. His voice still haunts me but I know it is not ******* voice that haunts me it is someone else. I want to be loved again by someone who actually cares about me. I always say yeah when people ask me if Im ok I dont want them to know Im hurting inside because if I do they will start hurting. When will Ill start learning Im never going to get any better if Im not trying my hardest. I wish I could just find the love of my life. Because apparently the people that says they love me means a lie. When ****** said I love you I thought he really ment it but I guess not because my cousin told me two other girls were flirting with him. I was so shock I wanted to cry. So when I slept over Danielles house when all of them was sleeping I went outside cried till morning. I was so sad to get out from the blankets. I wanted to to runaway from that place. And so I sang a song that made me even feel more sad and happy at the same time. I change my name on Kik and ****** ask me am I sad. I lied I never want him to know Im hurting again. Because he will keep on asking me the same question.I wish I was able to change my life because I dont like my life right now.I want a better life I want a change in my life. I just want ****** to actually care about me not leave me as a third wheel. Please lord lead my life and tell me what to do with it. Type amen if you really do care. Amen. Sincerely, Paula Rosa
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 08:51:29 +0000
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