My little girl is so precious. I cant honestly understand how I am blessed to have a child who is so much better than I deserve. The last week has been a stressful one for me, and Ive really taken a lot of this stuff in Ferguson to heart too. Plus, the holidays are really hard to be in retail, as people are willing to sell their souls to get the newest thing out there, lest little Johnny not be able to brag to his friends about what was under the tree. I didnt realize that I had so much stuff on my mind/bothering me lately, but my daughter, even at the age of 4, knew something was going on. This morning, we went through our usual routine and got ready for work, cleaned up, made lunch and headed to the shop. She wanted me to unbuckle her (which she can do herself), then she wanted me to carry her, but I couldnt because I had an arm load of stuff. When I got in and got settled in the shop this morning, she pulled up a stool next to my chair and just put her arm on my shoulder. She was eating her donuts and being quiet, and about halfway through, she asked if I would hold her (if she could sit on my lap). So I got her up in my lap, and instead of sitting there like normal, she just gave me a big hug, and laid across my chest with her arms around my neck, and asked me to rock back and forth in my chair, like when she was a baby. She was cuddling up with her Pillowcase (its an old pillowcase that she uses as her security blanket,) and just rocked back and forth. She asked me if I would rub her back and play her favorite song from when she was a baby. It was Kenny Chesneys There Goes My Life, that I played for her all the time when she was a baby and wouldnt sleep. It dawned on me how fortunate that I was, sitting in my desk chair and rocking my little angel, listening to our song, and that this was considered work. So few people are fortunate like that, and as I sit there and rubbed her back and sang along to me, it occurred to me that no matter what problems exist, what stressors life has for me and no matter how much ridiculousness I deal with on a daily basis, that this simple act this morning literally just washed away whatever bad feelings I had. After a few minutes like this, she popped up, smiling and said, Okay daddy Im ready to go play now. I asked her, Honey, was something wrong, for you to want me to hold you? And she smiled at me and said, No, you just looked sad this morning and I thought that if you thought of me when I was a baby, and got to hold me that it would make you happy. My daughter, who I thought I was being the big, strong, nurturing father and meeting her needs, actually turned the tables on me, and She held me this morning, for exactly as long as I needed it. No matter what I do in life, Ill never feel as deserving of that kind of love and that amazing of a child that Ive been blessed with. During the hustle and bustle of the holidays, its easy to forget the little, amazing things that should be the focus of our holiday time. Today, instead of griping about work, Ive decided to prop open the doors, enjoy my customers, and make plans for going out and having fun with my little one when its time to lock up tonight. I pray that you find hope, peace and comfort in little things too, whether they be your kids or grandkids, small acts of kindness (given or received) and other joys life brings to us.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 20:48:20 +0000
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