My mother sent this to me tonight and OMG, it is so true. 11 Things Only People From New Jersey Understand New Jerseyans find these truths to be self-evident (especially the one about Joisey rage). 1. Going Down The Shore In The Summer Is The Greatest Thing--Ever Source: Flickr user Tom Binger Everyone from New Jersey knows that there are no beaches here--theres only The Shore. And you sure as heck dont go down to the shore, you go down the shore. If you say it any differently, no one will let you forget it. My sister-in-law still doesnt let me live it down and I said going down to the shore once...by accident...three years ago. 2. There Are Certain Foods You Can Only Eat When Youre In New Jersey Source: Flickr user James Loesch The list of things I have to eat when Im in New Jersey, and try not to eat anywhere else are: BagelsPizzaCornTomatoesSalt Water Taffy Im a total Jersey food snob because the rest of the country just doesnt make them the same. And then theres the ultimate NJ dish that doesnt even exist anywhere else... 3. The Mere Mention Of Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese On A Roll Activates Four Different Regions Of Your Brain Source: Flickr user istolethetv Taylor Ham is the single best brand of pork roll available on the market. Taylor literally invented it. For this reason, it is not appropriate to call it pork roll--you must call it Taylor Ham in homage to John Taylor. Calling it anything else is disrespectful to the master. Unfortunately, half the state doesnt realize this and thats why... 4. You Either Grew Up In North Jersey or South Jersey, And Theres A Huge Difference When someone asks you where you are from you dont respond with New Jersey--youre either from North Jersey, South Jersey, or, if you ask my wife, Central Jersey (Although the existence of such a Central Jersey is debatable). There are a ton of regional differences between North Jersey and South Jersey. Its why knowing which exit you live off the parkway actually matters. And its why South Jersey and North Jersey dont normally speak to each other. Its also why... 5. You Have Sworn Allegiance To Wawa Or Dunkin Source: Flickr user USAG-Humphreys North Jersey has Dunkin and South Jersey has Wawa. These are the places you stop at when youre going down the shore to make the experience complete. Its Jerseys midnight energy supply. I have to note that its very fitting that South Jersey loves Wawa. Its just another example of their extreme Philadelphia envy, to go along with their bizarre allegiance to the Flyers and the nagging need to call sandwiches hoagies. Eww. 6. You Watch Out For Eggs And Toilet Paper On Mischief Night I didnt realize this until I got to college, but basically no one else in the country has a name of the night before Halloween. Bizarre. I dont know how teenagers in those states get out their angst on their neighbors. Its kind of like that movie The Purge only with eggs and toilet paper. I think you need a night when its socially acceptable to toilet paper the nasty old hag down the road. Otherwise youd end up like Florida or Long Island--and who in their right mind would want to live like that? 7. A Jughandle Has Nothing To Do With Pouring Margaritas For some stupid reason the higher-ups of the New Jersey Board of Highway Control have decided that a left turn lane is too simple to be useful. So instead we are left a relic of times past, the Jersey Jughandle. Its so powerful that even Chris Christie couldnt get rid of it. But thats not the least of NJs unique driving laws. Theres also the fun fact that you dont need to pump your own gas, ever. In fact, if you try, the guy at the station yells at you for trying to save him some work on a cold day. They will literally arrest you for trying to be a decent human being. Thats Jersey. 8. Every Out Of State Idiot Who Pronounces It Joisey Incites Our Uncontrollable Rage Source: politico I get to college in California--basically my first time out of the state that wasnt visiting family or going to a Yankee game--and the first thing my roommate says to me is, Oh, youre from Joisey. I had the only appropriate reaction: No God dammit! No one says that! Do I sound like Im from Staten Island? So yeah, just say it how its spelled. New Jersey. Jeez. 9. The Best Time To Eat At A Diner Is 2 a.m. When Youre Drunk With Your Best Friends Source: Flickr user Chief_Huddleston Theres only one type of non-chain eatery that has consistently good food at any time of the day and thats a New Jersey diner. I remember going to the Chester Diner at 2 a.m. after working the late shift at the Chester Movie Theater and meeting friends for a gyro and pancakes. And you know what, they would taste exactly (amazingly) the same if I went at 2 p.m. on a Sunday after church. Its a marvel of modern Americanized Greek technology. Diners are just the best. Period 10. Worshiping Bruce Springsteen And Bon Jovi Is Just A Natural Part Of Growing Up There are two gods that everyone in NJ worships: Bruce and Bon Jovi. They are the NJ equivalent of peanut butter and jelly, everyone loves them and it just comes naturally. Living On A Prayer was the last song played at my wedding. Even at the end of the night, everyone was on their feet yelling and jumping and fist pumping because thats exactly what you do when you hear Bon Jovi and youre from Jersey. Which brings me to my last point... 11. Nothing--Nothing--Compares To Jersey Pride What other New state in the union can be identified without the New? None, is the correct answer. No one has ever yelled Eff-Yeah Hampshire! in a bar. Jersey Pride is the sum of everything that makes Jersey great. Its that feeling when you cant wait to go down the shore on a weekend in the summer, stop at a diner, and grab a Taylor Ham, Egg, and Cheese while rocking out to Bruce or Bon Jovi. Only when you can create that mental picture and appreciate the image, will you fully understand what its like to be from New Jersey.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Mar 2014 04:02:42 +0000
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