My mothers last words before she died was that I didnt deserve the hurt that life brought me and that my my turn is coming. That my heart (which she said was too big) would be safe. She said that she would find a way to never be far from me. Ive thought about those words a million times. This evening in my quiet, I thought about the amazing love I have and if she could see him give me my turn. I wondered if she saw him go town to town searching for my favorite donuts that are hard to find. I wondered if she could see me smile at how hard he tries for me. I wondered if she could feel my peace when he held me as I slept. I wondered if she could see the sparkle in my eyes and the happiness in my smile. I couldnt control the tears that flowed as I had these thoughts. I miss her so much. So much. She helped me survive every obstacle. She always said she admired me. I could never see how a woman like her could possibly admire me as it was her that I aspired to be. She told in those last words that I always overcame bad things with love and that someday all that love would be returned and I would not have to be so strong anymore. Mom, I pray you can see my turn. I pray that you arent far and I pray that you watch over my babies and are with Darren with every step he makes. Always bring them home to me. I love and miss you. Oh and mom, you were right. Its my turn.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 01:46:56 +0000
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