My savings account: *hums peacefully, sips a up of tea, thinks about springtime, watches our current accounts playing happily on the lawn* Me: umm, I dont know how to tell you this. Wow, ok. So Theres a crack on the iPad screen. Savings account: Harry, Ella, get inside NOW!! Dont let her go near you!! Leave your toys, run to me. Ill save you!!! Me: way to overreact. Its repairable. I asked for quotes from.. Savings account: can I stop you. Quotes. Quotes lead to costs. Costs lead to you violating me and my kind, again. Me: its not like I did this on purpose. I admit the timing sucks. Savings account: woah, wait. the timing? What do you mean? What else are you NOT telling me?! Me: Ive told you everything. Getting the cars serviced. Yes both of them. I DID tell you. Yes, this week. Yes, both of them. And the fee for my nursing re-registration. Well its on the calendar, you shouldve looked. Savings account: thatd be like searching for my own obituary. You are a sick individual. Me: I was just trying to be transparent. I can take some from the current accounts, they have.. Savings account: dont you DARE touch them. See how small and fragile they are? How could you even think about hurting them?! Me: do you have to make it this hard? Every. damn. Time. The ipad: look, guys, Im not dying. Its just a small crack. They can just replace the glass or something. It wont be more than £150.. Savings account: is it that important? Im not made of money you know!! Me: jeez, look. Weve got an autistic child. Accidents happen. And we need the ipad. You have no idea how important it is to her. The teletubby toy videos, the wierd Russian animated cars, the singing minecraft blocks, the endless frickin kinder egg films. Its vital. Savings account: I know, I know. Is there an alternative? Me: we can buy a new one for about £500? Savings account: dont be a smartass. Ipad: guys, Im right here. I can hear everything youre saying. About replacing me. About whether Im worth it. That hurts. Me: dont cry, for gods sake. Youve got a crack, youre no longer watertight. We cant risk any moisture getting inside you. Savings account: you know what? I dont even care any more. Do what you want with me, just leave the little current accounts alone. Me: do you want a shoulder rub later? Savings account: depends. Are you going to stab me in the back at the same time? Me: I love you, of course not. Savings account: I felt that. you just transferred some money out of me didnt you? Me: yes. #brokenipadinautismhouse #islikeaportentoftheapocalypse #itotallyfooledmysavingsaccount #bwahahahaha #wait #italktomybankaccounts #ineedhelp
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 23:21:44 +0000
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