My sister Margaret did a beautiful post yesterday evening and talked about a very private matter our family has been dealing with since last May... a few close friends are aware of whats going on with our father, however this is something I chose not to share in a public forum.. After thinking about it last night, I realized that many of our friends have gone through or is going through the same situation with an aging parent or family member... I wanted to share Margrets eloquent words and an article she read yesterday afternoon that prompted her post in the hopes that this may help someone out there that is going through the same thing... -- Some of you know that my 89 year-old father has been in a skilled nursing facility the past few months. I found him lying on his kitchen floor of his apartment where he lived alone unable to get up following a fall (he said he bent down to look for something). Never a situation you think would happen to you. It had been 2 1/2 days since I had spoken to him so we think he was down for at least a day and a half. Now that we have reached 100 days, the magic number that Medicare stops paying for skilled nursing, he has moved to long-term care. He is in the same facility receiving similar care but in a different wing. When I visited him on Saturday after his move on Thursday, he said with surprise, how did you find me? He thought he was in a totally different place and city. He will hopefully adjust but all he really wants to do is go home. Unfortunately, he is extremely unstable, can not walk or handle basic necessities without assistance, making going home an unrealistic option. And then there is dementia. At first they called it delirium that would pass after a few days, but the fall and time on the floor seem to have triggered a longer term impact. The facility had a lovely candlelit dinner for residents and their family members last week. During dinner, as we ate Chicken Kiev, used cloth napkins and listened to a Frank Sinatra-like singer, I told my dad how nice it was to have dinner with him. He broke down crying saying, you have no idea how wonderful it is. I know my story is not unique, particularly with our generation. My heart goes out to others in similar situations. We take one day at a time. Some days are better than others. But the desire to see your parent living, or dying, with dignity is the utmost goal. While hospice isnt an option for my father right now, I thought this article was great example of living the final days with dignity. nytimes/2014/10/05/opinion/sunday/the-best-possible-day.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share&_r=0
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 21:51:50 +0000
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