My sister, Pamela Ruth Rea: Pam was born on June 19, 1954 in Cleveland. She died on April 11, 1971 on Cistern Cay, Exumas, Bahamas. At sunrise on Easter Sunday. She was two months and eight days short of her 17th birthday. My parents were 47. My brother Mark was two months shy of his high school graduation from Rocky River High School. Sister Patricia was in seventh grade at the Junior High. I was in 5th grade at Kensington Elementary School. For too long, we focused on Pams death. 43 years later, its time to focus on her life. Over the years, people have asked me about my siblings. I tell them I have a brother Mark in California, a sister Pam in heaven and a sister Patricia in Boston. This might seem a bit awkward, but it doesnt seem right to exclude her. She is still part of our family. She is still my sister. I didnt have much time to know her because she was born six years before me and I dont remember my early years. Pam was smart but she wasnt a genius. She worked really hard. She had a self deprecating sense of humour. According to a recent visit I had with one of her best friends, Holly Dreger Tomasch. One early memory: I was maybe five years old and I would walk on my own over to Mikes Delicatessen on Lake Road across from Kensington Elementary School and buy candy. We all received allowances growing up but we had to work around the house to earn them. For every year old we were, we received ten cents per week. So, at age five, my allowance was fifty cents per week. One time my allowance ran out and I wanted to get a candy bar. I came up with, what seemed like a brilliant idea. I would get the chocolate bar without paying. So, I proceeded to do just that and didnt get caught. I thought I had made a great discovery. I came home very excited and told Pam, Hey, Pam! I got a candy bar and didnt pay for it! Pam did not share my enthusiasm. In fact, she was angry. Peter! Thats stealing! Thats wrong! Well, I didnt know but I learned. Pam marched me back to Mikes with the candy bar and I apologised to the fellow behind the counter who seemed amused by the incident. Pam was a teenager from 1967-1971. Those were tumultuous years for America. Lots of movements. Anti-Vietnam War, pro-Environment, American Indians, civil rights, equal rights for women and so forth. Pam decided that the NFL was evil because of the violence of the game and I shared her opinion. In 1972, when I became a Browns fan, I felt guilty for being disloyal to her anti-NFL position. Pam became quite involved with CAWF, Clean Air and Water Forever. That was a big thing for her. After her departure, a cleanup of Elmwood Park was organized in her memory. She loved the Girl Scouts. One year their Girl Scout leader Mrs. Wiesenberger aka Wiesie organized a trip to Mexico. To pay for the trip, the troop had a fund raising activity. Selling geraniums. For some reason, Pam got the idea that she was going to sell 1000 geraniums. It became a noble cause and she achieved that feat. In recognition, she received the gold geranium award. A plastic geranium spray painted gold which I brought back to Manila as a treasured heirloom. Pam played the cello in the Rocky River High School Orchestra and worked hard at that. In orchestra she met Holly and Craig Porter. She became quite close to Craig. Craig had bought tickets to the Opera for the two of them when she died. Craig was the Senior Patrol Leader of our Boy Scout Troop 490 in my early years in the troop. At Pams funeral, he played the cello. I dont know how he did it. Pam was strong willed, outgoing, gregarious, kind, funny, determined and dedicated to service. She and my Dad were extremely close. They really enjoyed each other. I remember well their rapport. Mom and Pam often had a battle of wills. Particularly regarding what Pam would wear to school the next day. On the third floor of our house on Beachcliff was the room Mark and I shared. It also had a large closet where some of Pams clothes were kept. I well remember being half asleep and Mom and Pam having their nightly clothes battle. It never bothered Dad what Pam wore because clothes didnt interest me. Those battles affected me. Ive never liked clothes. I had to endure my wife Alice and Mom battling over what Tim would wear as a little boy for a family picture. And Alice and Tim would often clash when he was a little boy over his clothing. Pam had acne. Every night I would watch her apply ointments and creams to alleviate her pimples. I would look in the mirror and say, Im glad I dont have a complexion. Pam would say, Peter, everyone has a complexion. You have a good one. It was my joke. It worked every night. HA! Pam got into the health food movement in a big way. She loved Adelle Davis books. Especially Eat Right and Keep Fit. One year at Lakeside, she and Holly Dreger cooked their famous liver casserole. Tiger Milk was another item she favored. When she was about five years old, she appeared on TV on the Mike Douglas Show as a child model. Our neighbor Dee Zeller got her on the program. Pam was good friends with Phyllis Oblander. Their trip to Mexico inspired them to help Third World countries. They both planned on going to medical school. Pam wanted to go to Johns Hopkins Medical School. Phyllis did go to medical school, became a doctor, and has worked for many years near Iligan, Mindanao, Philippines in a Moslem area as a medical missionary. She showed up at Alice and my wedding on August 10, 1991 in Manila and it was like having Pam there. When I was sick as a boy, I remember how kind Pam was to me. She was like a second mother. She became quite enthusiastic about Vitamin C in the treatment of colds and I thought that was terrific. In March, 1971 Mark received the God and Country Award and Pam received the God and Community Award at St. Peters Episcopal Church in Lakewood. Boy Scout and Girl Scout Awards. It was a big deal and they had their picture in the newspaper. Pam lived life to the fullest. She was alive. Dad used to say that she did more in her 16 years than most people do in 70. When she died, I cut her obituary out of the newspaper and put it in my wallet. It seemed like the right thing to do. I didnt really know what I was supposed to do. I found that wallet recently and the obituary is still there. Im quite interested in Pam and would like to get to know her better. So, Ive decided to start attending her high school reunions. Rocky River High School 1972. And meet people and learn more about her. Jesus Christ said were supposed to love God and love everyone. But we dont love God that much and we limit our love to family and friends. Then when we lose those loved ones, one at a time, we suffer and ask God why these tragedies happen. My Dad worked really hard and gave his family a wonderful life. But his hard work could not prevent the terrible pain that entered his life when he lost his beloved daughter. I always knew that money could not prevent pain. When I became a father, I knew that my son could die. I could lose him. When I was 47 I thought about what happened to my Dad at that age. But, its all good. If we strengthen our relationship with God and have that Divine Romance and expand our love, always willing to make new friends, then well be ok. When loved ones die, its natural to grieve. But we dont have to be destroyed by grief. We should remember departed loved ones. And there are so many loved ones left to love. Every day there are new friends to meet. I know Ill see Pam again some day. She and Dad are together now. Dad thought about Pam every single day. He never stopped loving her. Like the great song Auld Lang Syne: Should auld acquaintance (old friends and loved ones) be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and the days of auld lang syne (the old days)? And the days of auld lang syne, my dear, and the days of auld lang syne? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and the days of auld lang syne? I say, No! On April 11, 2007 my sister Patricia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Avery Ruth Rea. 36 years to the date when Pam departed. So now we have a reason every year to feel good on April 11th. Life is good!
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 01:03:22 +0000
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