My son Markus would have been 7 today. Not a day goes by that I dont miss him, think of him, want so badly to hold him, and shed tears for his absence. Days like today are especially hard as I think, ponder what could have been and I get angry again and scream all over again for the injustice of it. Michael and matthew both miss him and share the grief we feel and it hurts more knowing Melissa will soon be of an age to wonder who he was. How much can I share with her. How much memory can I relive, how much do I dare. As I drive home I watch the lightning show God is putting on for Markus birthday as my wife told me. And I am angry that God gets to share him and we do not. As the tears streak down my face, as the pain that is constantly in my heart wrenches itself aloose from the part of my heart I keep it in to maintain control daily, I wish my little buddy happy birthday thru the sniffles and tears. I will always love you little buddy and someday I will pick you up again and hold you and tell you of all the wonderful things your brothers and sister did as you watched over them from heaven. Please forgive my tears on your day but I also remember the joy you brought and someday I hope,that,can overwhelm the pain of missing you. Until then please forgive daddy for everything I couldnt do for you. I miss you and will always love you.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 01:57:06 +0000