My super long answer to one short question which came as a comment to one of my previous posts about making right choices and choosing health. Hi Zoya. Thank you for posting this. I agree completely and yet one of my biggest challenges currently is how to apply all this within my I am a full time mum context. How do you manage to daily sacrifice your freedom in numberless situations and still enjoy and feel good about it and yourself? I think being a full time mum is the most rewarding job on the earth. Yet at times Ive found it really really hard, especially during the first year of my motherhood when my life got so completely changed overnight and my baby was so completely dependent on me and required my full care and attention 24/7. Unfortunately, I didnt get to be around other babies before my own baby was born so I didnt know anything about baby-care. I didnt happen to have any other mamas around who could help me if not physically or with an advice than at least with a word of support and understanding of my situation. After my baby was one month old ( I had a wonderful post-partum doula for the first month for which Im ever so grateful to my husband and his parents) I was left on my own often feeling isolated and longing for interaction with other mothers especially my own. There was no secondary care-giver. It was either me or no one. Can you sense the pressure? Before my baby was born I used to do daily yoga practice, to have a weekly massage and sauna, and spend enough time to rest and rejuvenate whenever I needed it. After my baby was born all of these was gone. But Im not even talking about not having time to do things I liked. If you are a mom you know it. It comes down to not being able to do things you must do when you need it, like going to the toilet, or eating some food. I had to learn eat super fast almost without chewing my food. It still was a better option than not eating at all:) This new moms life surely sounds like a big sacrifice especially since I used to have an independent and free life before my baby birth. Yes, it might look like Ive got no freedom as I have no choice of when to get up or go to bed, eat or even pee, and Im always on call, and all my interests are now secondary to the interests of my baby BUT it was and is my choice to become a mother and do it this way. Here comes two things that Ive learned during these two most magnificent mad and meaningful years of my life (my boy turned 26 months yesterday). 1. Remember WHAT you are doing and WHY you are doing it I am in charge of bringing a new LIFE into this world. I am a co-creator who is creating a new person with unique character and life path much of which will be determined by my energy, thoughts, behavior and interactions with my baby during his first years of life. Everything I do is either supports and nourishes my baby, or it doesnt. I find a concept of Karma yoga is of great help here. Where there is an action, there is a reaction. All my life and action are now dedicated to this most important mission in my life. I want to be my best self and offer my best service to this new being. I am in service to humanity. Any baby could become next Buddha or next Hitler, and his mother plays a very important role here. As I surrender all my ambitions and let go of all expectations, I serve and serve and serve my baby the way I serve God/Higher Self/Universe. To accomplish a big project we need to commit and be inspired to go on despite any difficulties. In my first year of motherhood I had to often remind myself that what Im doing is not just about feeding my baby and keeping him clean and comfy. There is much bigger sense hidden there. Its all about Divine Love. 2. SELF-care comes first Remember to put on your oxygen mask first! You cant give when you are empty. Thats something I often repeated to mamas who attended my yoga courses. Only after becoming a mom myself I understood how difficult it could get at times. If before I wouldnt even think about starting my yoga practice if I had less than 90 minutes free, now I had to learn to shorten my practice to ONE minute. It could be just one pose or a round of Sun Salutations, one minute of full breathing, one minute of deep relaxation. Any of these is better than no practice. It took me a while to get down to a minute:) Before I thought that 15 minutes is a required minimum. Ive also learned to be flexible about what self-care consists of. If before it was a 10-day silence mediation retreat, an hour massage, etc, than after baby it became 5 min of uninterrupted meditation and 2 minutes of oil rubbing before the quick shower. The truth is even those few minutes of self-care can bring great sense of wellness if we dont crave things we cant have at the moment. If a craving comes, please go back to number one! Motherhood is most spiritual practice Ive ever done. It comes down to daily practice of letting go of my ego, surrendering to the Divine will and keeping attitude of humility and devotion. Im grateful to be a mother! #motherhood #spiritualmotherhood #selfcare
Posted on: Thu, 06 Nov 2014 13:42:17 +0000